Time is your friend


Hello all,

I am 6 weeks post op, and today is the first day I have felt comfortable. My anxiety has lessened tremendously and mentally I am in a better place. 

I also feel more confident in changing my bag and wafer. I have a great ostomy nurse and she has really helped me get the right equipment. 

Still a little self conscious when I am out, but honestly I'm sure nobody is looking at me.

Also still very aware I have a bag.  I am sure this part is one  that will take time.  I find myself checking it often.

Time is definitely your friend in this process.  And I want to thank everyone who has reached out. This is such a wonderful place,  full of caring, kind and compassionate people.  So very grateful I have found you all.


You’ll check your bag less and less, plus you’ll figure out when you need to empty and can kinda plan it. I always carry flushable wet wipes but I only have extra supplies in my truck or maybe in a backpack if I go hunting, but I very rarely ever carry them with me. 

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Reply to AlexT

I am one of those people who overpack for any trip or outing.

So, of course, returning to the office a few days a week, I will have everything and then some. 😄


Hi N

Six weeks isn't a long time, you have done well to adjust, I to work in an office 5 days per week. I have a small bag of supplies in my desk and one in the car. I have only had one small leak in eight years at work, and there is only one who knows of my circumstance. You will discover a routine that suits you when at work , your body clock will remind you when it's time to check or empty and I can honestly say I completely forget about it most of the time.


Morning glory

Hi Nini, I  am so happy you are adjusting  so quickly.  You are going to do great. Look how much  you have accomplished  in just 6 weeks. 

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Hey Nini, very happy yo hear you are in a much better place emotionally :-)

I hate when they tell me time heals most things...but it's the absolute truth ahahaha

I am 3 months out of surgery and I still nearly continuously put my hand on my bag..of course I know I would feel if it slipped off...plus very complicated for that to happen, considering I am wearing an ostomy belt, but still...

Guess we will get used to it and stop thinking..

What also is true is that people really do not notice anything about your bag, sometimes not even if they know it's there! but of course we will be self-conscious for  a while, no? :-)


Soon you will be 100%, so welcome to the 100% club. Regards IGGIE

Reply to Happy-but-Newbie

Yes, self conscious still, but working on that.

Reply to IGGIE

Thank you!

Reply to Morning glory

Thank you.


Thanks Nini4 for this concept. It gets harder and harder to find new concepts for rhymes, so I am most grateful for this one.
Best wishes



When we’ve had an operation
and maybe into flagellation,
with low morale and self-pity
just because we’re feeling shitty.
For, from the op. we may be realing
in the early stage of healing
so, the affects are negatives
and we can’t see the positives.

It’s sometimes hard to look ahead
when negatives will fill our head
and make us feel and think the worst
as all those bad things will outburst

There’s nothing people say or do
that makes you think that you’ll pull through
so, you may feel you’re on your own
and facing this stuff all alone.

You don’t need time to stop the pain
when it comes back time and again,
what you want’s an instant cure
for, all else is, just pure manure.

It’s no good hearing ‘time’s your friend’
until this stage comes to an end
and you can feel a difference
in your body’s ambience.

Then the concept dawns on you
that patience is a real virtue
and, as this healing will take time,
you’ll find there’s a new paradigm.

You’ll realise that time’s your friend
and it can help you to the end
of this frustrating early stage, 
when you can simply turn the page.

                                                B.Withers 2023

Reply to Bill

I love this! You have such a way of capturing the feelings of the situation.

Thank you!

Reply to Nini4


I have had an ileostomy for I think something over thirty years.  It has been so long I can't remember the date anymore.  One of the most important things I can impart is that other people take their cues from youu.  If you panic or get upset, they will too.  If you stay relaxed as possible, others will never know there was a problem at all.  

I remember one Thanksgiving at a cousin's house.  I had one of those bad leaks.  It soiled underwear past any kind of temp fix until I could get home.  I just made my way to the bathroom, changed the appliance, put what had to be washed into a sealed bag then went on with the meal.  No one even noticed unless anyone might have noticed me trying to fix the wedgies I was now getting from lack of a certain piece of clothing. Lol

That has always been what seemed to be the secret to my mind.  I did not live in fear of leaks.  I accepted that no matter how well adjusted I ever became, there would still be the occasional leak.  It happens to the best of us.  Never wanted or fun at all to be sure but won't ever kill you either.  With time you learn what affects you and that will lessen the unwanted leaks over time.  You will get used to the signs that you experience.  I usually forget my ostomy is even there until my stomach itches which means the wafer seal is starting to loosen.  Waste is getting on the skin around the stoma causing the itch there.  

I wish you well in your adjustment.  It just takes time and patience.


I'm 4 yrs post op ileostomy & check my pouch all the time.   Once had a blowout while driving on the hwy. The rag under my seat got me home.  Sometimes, when I drink & eat at the same time, my pouch will balloon up.   Go out & have a great time & don't worry.  My stealth belt helps me to avoid my hovering over my pouch & reduces prolapsing.  They claim the belt will hold back leaking, as their CEO jogged w/o glueing the wafer to his skin.

Reply to Bill

So clever and true! 

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