Weird but Fun: Have You Named Your Ostomy?

Jan 19, 2024 5:31 pm

Weird but fun question… ready?… go!

Have you named your ostomy?
I named mine Frankie :)

Jan 19, 2024 5:38 pm

I don't think I can say on here what I call mine. 😈😁

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Jan 19, 2024 5:53 pm
Reply to kittybou


Mysterious Mose
Jan 19, 2024 6:56 pm

This comes up a lot here. Some people seem to have a need to name their appliances. I understand why they do. But for me, it seems a bit like a normal person naming their rectum. I think that naming my bag enforces the feeling it is something other rather than a normal part of who I am. The less dualism the better, I say. :-)


Jan 19, 2024 7:55 pm

Hello, this is Herb, Beachboys' stoma. That dude didn't name me... I named him! I thought about calling him "chump change" or "doofus." But they just didn't fit. Maybe I'll rename him "sandhoggie" or "Ole Saltie."

That dude just doesn't treat me right. Always covering me up with a baggie. What am I... a leper? Maybe I'll show him who's in charge... give him a big blast of redirected ass gas. That'll teach him.

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
Jan 19, 2024 8:29 pm

Absolutely not, don't see the point in naming it.

Jan 19, 2024 9:44 pm

And speaking of points... Jennifer Aniston comes to mind...😍 (only the guys will get that) 🤔

What if you were to name your boobs? 🤔

Same idea, right?

And if they had no nipples, they'd be pointless...😉🤪

Jan 19, 2024 10:02 pm

I haven't named mine yet, but my wife's cousin calls it NBH — new butthole… lol

Jan 19, 2024 11:06 pm

Nope, I have not named mine. I understand some people like to, but to me, it's just a body part, and I haven't named any of the others.

Jan 19, 2024 11:11 pm
Reply to Kas


Jan 19, 2024 11:13 pm
Reply to SeanB

FBH... you mean front butt hole...

It has been accepted by the Academy of New Terms by MAO...


Morning glory
Jan 20, 2024 12:31 am

No, never considered it. I don't name my moles either. It's fine for some people but not me.


Rose Bud 🌹
Jan 20, 2024 2:28 am

I really didn't name mine, but once I actually took a good look at it... since it's pretty small and the shape at first wasn't as round as it became later on after really healing, it looked like a small rose bud 🌹 (of course, it is where I got my profile name from)... but I've never really called it anything but my front butt 🤣

Jan 20, 2024 6:04 am
Reply to warrior


Jan 20, 2024 9:03 am

Sure have... That f*****g thing down there...

Jan 20, 2024 10:53 am

My stoma is my best mate, and yes, I call him Jonah the Stoma. We are both having a whale of a time. He spurts too. Thar she blows. Regards, Iggie

Jan 20, 2024 11:41 am

I named mine Louise... not sure where that came from, but one day when I was changing my appliance and Louise just started her spew of conversation... Just shouted out "Oh Louise" and it has stuck... Plus when you're out with friends and your stoma starts giving you some trouble you can always excuse yourself and say "I need to go and check on Louise" lol

Jan 20, 2024 2:53 pm

I asked this question a while back and got a mix of answers. Some good/funny names. Some people just don't seem to want to have the fun of naming theirs, which is fine. But I named both of mine. My first one I called "Wormy" because I thought calling him a penis was just wrong. But that is what he looked like, stuck out of my stomach. My relocation and new stoma I named Marvin. That is after Marvin the Martian (Looney Tunes). I thought he looked like a Martian coming out of my stomach when I looked at him at first because he was totally different from my first stoma. My ostomy nurse kept saying he is a beautiful rose. Now he is Marvin Rose. And some days "Marvelous Marvin." Now I just make jokes about him, like "Why did Marvin win the vote?" "He was very poopular!"


Jan 20, 2024 3:15 pm
Reply to IGGIE

Nice visual there, mate. 🤣🤪

Jan 20, 2024 7:47 pm
Reply to IGGIE

I'm going to call Ahab. Send the whaling crew down under....😉

Jan 20, 2024 9:17 pm

Don't forget to bring the Chips Ahoy cookies. Man's gotta eat.

Jan 21, 2024 1:44 am

I'm currently reading Moby Dick. Read it years ago. One of my favorites. Any boss at work who is unreasonable gets tagged as "Ahab." I also work with an engineer named Ishmael.

Jan 21, 2024 2:38 am
Reply to infinitycastle52777

OMG, I love it! Your sense of humor is great!

Apr 21, 2024 9:53 pm

Funny but yeah, Patch is about 31 years old this month 🦃

Apr 29, 2024 6:13 pm
Reply to Kas

Kas... Patricia here. I got the goody box today. I appreciate it all. It's gonna help me for a little while. Thank you very much. I send thanks to Alex also. It was only one box, right? Again, thank you very much 😊♥️🙏🏽

Apr 30, 2024 7:31 pm

BIF (Butt in Front)

May 04, 2024 6:00 am

Uh oh... 🎙 tap tap... this thing on? 🎤

My stoma has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R... 🎶

My butt hurts so much I can't sit at all... 🎵

Oh! Affectionately we call it the "front butt mystery," cause some love it, hate it, we can disagree... 🤔

But... then... it... certainly helps us, job-wise, poop or pee. 😉

Oh! I guess I can't complain much, since others have it worse... some stomas look like a rosebud or last week's liverwurst... 🎵

Oh! ... that... smell... 😱 it stinks so bad... I often ask "what did I just have?"... and if not for that I wonder what's it yacking about...? 🗣

Oh...! Hush my little front butt hole, as you speak to me... 🗣

I am thankful it's not often in mixed company... Hey!

May 04, 2024 10:01 pm

Who knew having a stoma could be so much fun.

Warrior wins verse of the month:

Oh! I guess I can't complain much, since others have it worse... some stomas look like a rosebud or last week's liverwurst...

I must confess... I've never eaten the aforementioned liverwurst, much less glimpsed this gastronomic delicacy. But something tells me... it ain't pretty.

Mysterious Mose
May 04, 2024 10:35 pm
Reply to Beachboy

Hey! Braunschweiger is one of my favorite sandwich meats. It ranks right up there with beef tongue! My paternal grandmother never lost her Depression-era frugality, and these were staples at her house. As was cheap bourbon. 🥸

May 05, 2024 2:24 am
Reply to Beachboy

I'm a poet, dope, and even know it. Oh!

Bill W. does it in rhyme. I do it for no reason. Hee hee. 😂

Now, go have a hot dog.