Ostomy Plumbing

WHEN YOU HAVE AN OSTOMY, your focus is different than people with regular plumbing.  I rarely end a meal without immediately heading for the bathroom.  When we eat out, which is usually once a week, I typically will visit the men’s room before we leave the restaurant.  Like other ostomates, I have the toilet homing ability of an incontinent rock dove.  Despite my negative feelings for public bathrooms, I have no more control over peristalsis than Hoyt Wilhelm had over his knuckleball.  When I go to the dentist for a cleaning, I always ask them to keep me as elevated as possible.  “Oh, a bad back, huh?” they say.  I don’t bother to mention my ostomy flow need for gravitational confederacy.  Whenever I go out for a good walk, I wear the special underwear that has an inner sleeve to support the ostomy bag.  Depending upon the time of day or when I last had a meal, it could play an important role in keeping me secure till I get back home.  For this reason, I usually walk in the early morning prior to eating breakfast to minimize the prospect of filling up as I wander the neighborhood.  Nothing like a belly bulge to slow the speed of even the most determined walker. Walker erectus can swiftly deteriorate into shuffler bagfillius.   

Yep, nothing more frustrating than shittious balloonious maximous - for me, usually around 3 a.m.. disturbing the greatest dream ever….welcome back and thanks for the laugh !  jb

Love the Hoyt Wilhelm reference, Henry. Was just remembering him the other day as I was watching Matt Waldron pitch for the Padres against our hapless Rockies. :-)

Daniel

I grew up watching Phil Neikro (Knucksie), knuckle baller for the Atlanta Braves. Hoyt Wilhelm reference reminded me of him.

I was a pitcher in my younger days and my hero was Ryne Duren because he had coke-bottle glasses like me and threw a hundred miles an hour. I used to try to intimidate the opposition by throwing the ball all over the place when I warmed up. It led to my eventual downfall when my shoulder gave out by the time I was 14. So much for heroes! :-)

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

I guess you never considered throwing the knuckler.

I never could pitch, I was an outfielder. I had a problem with depth perception. No problem during day games but I couldn't play during night games. As I got older, more of my games were played at night. I had to give up playing baseball but I never lost the love for the game.

Heh. I was blind as the proverbial bat, so all I could do was pitch. Couldn't catch fly balls or hit and I ran like Rocky Colavito. I played a lot of community recreational ball and also sandlot pick-up games. One of the benefits of being a Boomer was the sheer number of kids in the neighborhood. There were usually enough kids to field a couple of teams, although some positions had to do double duty. :-)

I understand completeIy. I get my call at about 4 a.m. 

First let's not forget the late great Tim Wakefield,  Red Sox. 

Funny, that now that I have a colostomy I do not find myself always hyper aware of the nearest bathroom locations. 

As for sleeping.. ya what's that. Mine seems to do all its work, or most anyway at 3AM.  Lol

Could be worse... I'm an Angel's fan.

There's no lead too great, that the Angels can't blow.