WHEN YOU HAVE AN OSTOMY, your focus is different than people with regular plumbing. I rarely end a meal without immediately heading for the bathroom. When we eat out, which is usually once a week, I typically will visit the men’s room before we leave the restaurant. Like other ostomates, I have the toilet homing ability of an incontinent rock dove. Despite my negative feelings for public bathrooms, I have no more control over peristalsis than Hoyt Wilhelm had over his knuckleball. When I go to the dentist for a cleaning, I always ask them to keep me as elevated as possible. “Oh, a bad back, huh?” they say. I don’t bother to mention my ostomy flow need for gravitational confederacy. Whenever I go out for a good walk, I wear the special underwear that has an inner sleeve to support the ostomy bag. Depending upon the time of day or when I last had a meal, it could play an important role in keeping me secure till I get back home. For this reason, I usually walk in the early morning prior to eating breakfast to minimize the prospect of filling up as I wander the neighborhood. Nothing like a belly bulge to slow the speed of even the most determined walker. Walker erectus can swiftly deteriorate into shuffler bagfillius.
Yep, nothing more frustrating than shittious balloonious maximous - for me, usually around 3 a.m., disturbing the greatest dream ever… Welcome back and thanks for the laugh! jb
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Love the Hoyt Wilhelm reference, Henry. Was just remembering him the other day as I was watching Matt Waldron pitch for the Padres against our hapless Rockies. :-)
Daniel
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I grew up watching Phil Neikro (Knucksie), knuckle baller for the Atlanta Braves. Hoyt Wilhelm reference reminded me of him.
I was a pitcher in my younger days and my hero was Ryne Duren because he had coke-bottle glasses like me and threw a hundred miles an hour. I used to try to intimidate the opposition by throwing the ball all over the place when I warmed up. It led to my eventual downfall when my shoulder gave out by the time I was 14. So much for heroes! :-)
My Ostomy Journey: Jearlean | Hollister
I guess you never considered throwing the knuckler.
I never could pitch, I was an outfielder. I had a problem with depth perception. No problem during day games but I couldn't play during night games. As I got older, more of my games were played at night. I had to give up playing baseball but I never lost the love for the game.
Heh. I was blind as the proverbial bat, so all I could do was pitch. Couldn't catch fly balls or hit and I ran like Rocky Colavito. I played a lot of community recreational ball and also sandlot pick-up games. One of the benefits of being a Boomer was the sheer number of kids in the neighborhood. There were usually enough kids to field a couple of teams, although some positions had to do double duty. :-)
First, let's not forget the late great Tim Wakefield, Red Sox.
Funny, now that I have a colostomy, I do not find myself always hyper-aware of the nearest bathroom locations.
As for sleeping... yeah, what's that? Mine seems to do all its work, or most anyway, at 3 AM. Lol
Could be worse... I'm an Angel's fan.
There's no lead too great, that the Angels can't blow.
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