Hi Ron'ster,
What those who weren't expecting to be ostomocized go through is pretty textbook in terms of the steps. Those are:
#1 Anxiety: You've experienced a life-altering change, and it usually sounds something like, “You routed my ass through my stomach, and now I shit in a bag????? Are you kidding me? WTF am I going to do now… who's going to want to be around me… I'm a monster!” This is typically accompanied by feeling lost, confused, and a bit fearful.
#2 Anger: This sounds like, “Why the hell did this happen to ME??? What did I do? How am I going to live a normal life now???” This step usually involves a lot of swearing, soul-searching, and generally being pissed at everyone and everything.
#3 Acceptance: You're not happy about the situation, but you eventually stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize your new reality isn't going anywhere, so you distinguish between what you can change and what you can't. You start to accept your situation, which then means you can start to make the best of it. This is also where you realize you're not in the best place… but the alternative would have been much worse. With that mindset, you can now start dealing with your newly altered reality.
#4 Adjusting & Adapting: This is where you figure out what works for you and what doesn't. What you can still do and what you can't. You'll also want to get as smart about your situation as you can, since only you are driving this train. There will be a lot of trial and error, but you'll learn from everything you do and use what you've learned to get your life back to as close to normal as it can be. You'll also surprise yourself about how close you can get to what was your former life. This is where you realize things really aren't all that bad. They're not perfect, but no one's life ever is.
#5 Action: This last step is where you take everything you learned and go out and kick some ass. You're back, maybe a little worse for wear, but you're back and ready to go. This is where you look back at all the previous steps and say, “What the hell was I thinking… I got this!” Then you try to share your knowledge and experience with those who are struggling to get to this step you're now at.
And the circle is completed.
Hang tight, brother… we're all on the same ride as you, just sitting in different cars. And we're all going to be all right, including you!
And no… 'ostomocized' is not a real word.
;O)