Good morning, Stephanie.
Welcome to the joint.
Good to have you.
I have read your previous posts and understand you do see a stoma nurse. You should ask her by way of seeing it and for recommendations.
This topic has been addressed, so using the icons above could help a bit, but guessing at what could be the trouble?
1- Irritated skin from exposure to poop, as you have mentioned before.
2- Allergic reaction to adhesives used in the flange and extenders you mentioned you used.
I suffer from that red, inflamed skin around the stoma too. But it's not itchy, flaky, or bothersome.
It does affect appliance life, though. I get 3 days' wear time. Used to get 5, but I'm learning still after 8 years with an ileo that changes are better than longer wear time.
Showering without the appliance helps.
I was told of a variety of topical creams and sprays to use too.
You mentioned you do use protectant and a sealer.
I don't, which is likely my problem.
Giving your stoma skin some air time - without the appliance on - helps the skin heal.
I began using a moisturizer, which is a big no-no since it leaves residue, but I clean the area very well after using it and notice less redness after 3 changes.
It may not work for everyone. It works for me.
See your nurse for an accurate diagnosis. And hear what others have to say here and question your nurse.
Good luck. Sit tight. Answers coming. Just my 2 cents.