My living will - update and reaffirmation 2024.

MY LIVING WILL -
UPDATE AND REAFFIRMATION.        04-04-24

Following my heart attack, 
the triple bypass got me back 
to the state I was before, 
except I now have something more.

The pills that I now need to take
have an effect that seems to make
my blood pressure goes very low
and so, new symptoms seem to show

I get dizzy and perhaps
this may cause me to collapse
in a feint where I can’t do
all those things that I want to.

I feel I should add to this list 
some other things that I have missed,
like recently my ostomy
has prolapsed out of the side of me.

I have now got a lazy gut,
which means it doesn’t work well, but
 irrigation can still work
to compensate for guts that shirk.

Since Covid, I can’t breathe so well
and, as far as I can tell,
blood oxygen becomes too low
or that's what the device does show.

My ribs can feel quite painful still
but that does not make me feel ill,
it’s just a sharp and stabbing pain
that gets to me now and again.

These are just other things that I
may put up with ‘till I die
but nothing else has changed for me
so, my old will, will still be.
still, ‑ while I can be happy ‑ I will.

                                                            B. Withers 2024
                                                      (in: ‘Whext’ volume 3- 2025)

PS: This update is part of a much longer version started in 1996 and added to at times when my circumstances have changed.

I feel ya... collapsed lung from going septic, then got COVID, and everything wrong with my bile ducts... and all the scar tissue from 12 plus JP drains and a huge midline scar... I get the shooting stabbing pains that start at my ribs and go up my back. You're one of the most positive people I've come to know (of course not in person 🤭 and maybe not from replies) but I do read most of your posts... It does help to be that way and think as positive as you can with everything that's led us to this point in life... Just wanted to offer support and 🫂 from across the way and anyone else that may need it. 🌹

I know that I have been lucky/blessed that I was already house/bed bound when Covid first made its appearance, that John and I NEVER caught Covid.
Because my hubby was an Emergency Service Worker (he's the Fire Chief of our local volunteer fire brigade) he had to have his immunizations.
I was a little hesitant, but my GP told me that if I didn't get immunized and IF I were to catch Covid, I could and probably would die, as my immune system is compromised... So while John had 3 immunizations, I only had the first two.
It's never given either of us any side effects, which is fortunate. And people in the community, and my family have stayed away when they had Covid.

We live in an area that a lot of people call "the middle of nowhere"; our nearest neighbors are far enough that we cannot see their homes. We live in a valley surrounded by hilly sheep country, many people did not even bother wearing masks, and when we were in our "bubble" we talked to people mostly on the phone, or calling from our gate to the house, which is about 60 meters long. My garden is around 2 acres. And as in New Zealand we have many volcanoes, earthquakes, etc., we were prepared for a disaster. So when our country went into 'lockdown' John and I weren't caught unprepared.
And it was quite pleasant just the two of us, for a few months.

I just really admire your poetry, and your ability to see things from a good point of view!!

Bless you, Bill

Be happy

As you bring to others

So it comes to you

 

Hugs from us all

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Thank you, Bill

Hello Gracie Bella.
Thank you for your reply to this post and your graphic description of where you live.  My thoughts immediately flipped back to the days when we were seriously thinking of moving to NZ: I had bought some land on a peninsular shaped hillside overlooking a beautiful valley and was going to build my 'dream' home. I had got to the point of clearing the land and establishing a flat area for the semi-circular house which would catch the sun from dawn to dusk. I had strategically planted planted the garden and  even made a model of the house (in a suitcase), so that I could iron out any potential difficulties before the main building began.
Then, my daughter in the UK, had her first child and my wife refused to move because she wanted to be 'there' for when her grandchildren grew up. Thus, we stayed here and the 'dream' of moving to NZ was abandoned (but not forgotten). 
Best wishes 
Bill

My Ostomy Journey: Kimberly | Hollister

With all the things that have befallen you----------

These are just other things that I
may put up with ‘till I die
but nothing else has changed for me
so, my old will, will still be.
still, ‑ while I can be happy ‑ I will.

Yes,  be happy.