he dosnt know about my iliostomy ,and im not going to tell him on our first date,
iv 24 hours to prepare myself ,think ill stick to protiens in the resteraunt
HELP.
Welcome to MeetAnOstoMate.org
Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:38 pm
going on my first date since hubby left, so im very nervous,
he dosnt know about my iliostomy ,and im not going to tell him on our first date,
iv 24 hours to prepare myself ,think ill stick to protiens in the resteraunt HELP.
he dosnt know about my iliostomy ,and im not going to tell him on our first date,
iv 24 hours to prepare myself ,think ill stick to protiens in the resteraunt
HELP.
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Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:34 pm
I could almost feel your anxiety. Good luck on your date and many more! Keep us posted.
Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:40 pm
Ah Leah, don't be nervous, people haven't changed much since the world began. I do hope you have a wonderful time. The proteins are probably a good idea.
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Sun Apr 07, 2013 6:17 am
Go for it Leah. Of course we all wish you well. Remember that everybody has something that they would prefer not to share on the first few meetings. An ostomy is no big deal unless you make it so. Good relationships are so much more than a person's physical attribrutes. What people are looking for are soul-mates not assole mates.
Best wishes Bill
Best wishes Bill
Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:22 am
Hope your date went well! For next time eat marshmallows and stay with low fiber, high protein foods. Careful with the red wine! That's the hardest part, lol!
Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:47 am
Hi! You'll be just fine.. Relax and have fun! I agree - your date and anyone else does not need to know until you decide the right time. I agree, low fiber would probably be best, but don't get too nervous with selecting something nice for dinner. Treat yourself - proteins would be a good option.. You'll be talking more and observing this date - how will you have time to eat! Drink water and go for it...! We're all rooting for you! Please keep us posted...
Wed Apr 10, 2013 3:56 am
hi everyone ,thank you for your words of encouragement,
i had a wonderful time, we had dinner, i didnt eat much but it was very nice,
the gentleman i went out with was a really really nice guy ,but not for me,
nothing i can put my finger on and say ,its because of this ,but hes not my type,
i like a man to be manley and i found him a little feminine,
but hes sooo nice,
anyway ,at least i know i can go on a date and have a good time,
bring on the next ,lol.leah,xxx
i had a wonderful time, we had dinner, i didnt eat much but it was very nice,
the gentleman i went out with was a really really nice guy ,but not for me,
nothing i can put my finger on and say ,its because of this ,but hes not my type,
i like a man to be manley and i found him a little feminine,
but hes sooo nice,
anyway ,at least i know i can go on a date and have a good time,
bring on the next ,lol.leah,xxx
Wed Apr 10, 2013 4:25 am
Hello Leah. I'm so pleased to hear that you had a good time on your date. Thanks for giving us this feedback. Sometimes people are not right for each other no matter how nice they are! I would be interested to know how you define 'too feminine' in this context as many of the so-called 'masculine' traits that are discussed on this site are just the ones that indicate how insensitive and uncaring men can be at times.
I recall many, many years ago when I was apprenticed to be a barber, I felt forced to give it up because of the fights that ensued. When people accused me of being 'queer'or a 'poof' for wanting to be a barber, I simply hit them as a masculine response - but I felt that this was not a tenable position for a lifetime's work. -- A similar - but milder impression was being given when I went into the so-called 'caring professions' which, at the time, were dominated by women - who cared. It was as if 'caring' was not the domain of men and therefore those men that did actually want to 'care' were deemed as somehow homosexual - which, at that time was unacceptable. Because this attitude was milder and because the perpetrators were open to discussion, I was able to refrain from the more violent response of previous years and talk it through with them. Most were surprised and taken aback at my exposition of their own prejudices and were appologetic and thus, I managed to have a long and successful career in 'caring'.
As a 'man' I can confidently say that some aspects of masculinity are not particularly desirable traits. So I would advise to be careful of what you wish for!
Best wishes
Bill
I recall many, many years ago when I was apprenticed to be a barber, I felt forced to give it up because of the fights that ensued. When people accused me of being 'queer'or a 'poof' for wanting to be a barber, I simply hit them as a masculine response - but I felt that this was not a tenable position for a lifetime's work. -- A similar - but milder impression was being given when I went into the so-called 'caring professions' which, at the time, were dominated by women - who cared. It was as if 'caring' was not the domain of men and therefore those men that did actually want to 'care' were deemed as somehow homosexual - which, at that time was unacceptable. Because this attitude was milder and because the perpetrators were open to discussion, I was able to refrain from the more violent response of previous years and talk it through with them. Most were surprised and taken aback at my exposition of their own prejudices and were appologetic and thus, I managed to have a long and successful career in 'caring'.
As a 'man' I can confidently say that some aspects of masculinity are not particularly desirable traits. So I would advise to be careful of what you wish for!
Best wishes
Bill
Wed Apr 10, 2013 2:05 pm
hi bill thank you for sharing that with us,
i really have nothing against feminine men ,and by that i mean .a man who wears pink has perfectly manicured nails .wears moisturiser and smells of purfume,
i have friends like that who i love very much . but i do not find it attractive at all,
im very old fashion i like a man to to be able to protect me (or look as though he can),
be sensative but not overly so, be masculine,its hard to decribe,
i never allowed my husband to vacume, wash dishes or clean house ,
but hey thats just me ,
i dont like to see women doing a mans job either,
equality is not for me im afraid ,
leah,x
i really have nothing against feminine men ,and by that i mean .a man who wears pink has perfectly manicured nails .wears moisturiser and smells of purfume,
i have friends like that who i love very much . but i do not find it attractive at all,
im very old fashion i like a man to to be able to protect me (or look as though he can),
be sensative but not overly so, be masculine,its hard to decribe,
i never allowed my husband to vacume, wash dishes or clean house ,
but hey thats just me ,
i dont like to see women doing a mans job either,
equality is not for me im afraid ,
leah,x
