I suppose wearing a bag does not mean I need to date someone else who wears a bag. After the bag talk, is there anything else? ray
bunzerella
Apr 28, 2013 2:59 am
Past Member
Apr 28, 2013 5:59 am
I'm sure you would need a few more common interests than sharing similar plumbing before hooking up, perhaps?!
Personally, I believe it is limiting your options somewhat if you only want to become involved with another ostomate. Particularly as coming from the land down under and being a minority on sites like these (plus the fact I live in a country town), my chances are zero to none in finding another like-plumbed individual.
Which is not a problem, of course. I find that even when you're not out to "trap yourself a man," there is plenty of good fishing to be had in the non-ostomate seas!
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Happy hunting, mate!
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MeetAnOstoMate website turned out to be a lifesaver for me. I say this because, for me, this ostomy journey was a devastating event both physically and mentally.
Here, I found folks who understood my feelings even better than my family or friends could. Only a fellow ostomate can understand how you really feel.
Information sharing is key, as well as support and understanding, to ultimately bring more harmony into our ostomy life journey. I found here, virtually no ostomy questions that are not touched upon. Questions which some might feel, may be too trivial to contact a doctor about or even too shy or embarrassed to ask their own doctor about. They are all addressed here.
For me, anonymity was very helpful in seeking answers to each phase of this life changing medical and mental event. Sharing initial trauma feelings, ongoing support and finally acceptance was what I found with my membership here. I am not sure what my mental and physical attitude would be today without having found this site.
Additional benefits included: finding products and ideas to help with daily maintenance, innovative ideas and as a bonus - some great humor.
After all “laughter IS the best medicine”.
I have been a member for 3 years, an ostomate for 4 years - yes, I certainly wish I would have found it immediately after surgery but so very thankful I finally found it when I did as I truly believe it turned my troubled depression and situation into a more positive attitude and acceptance.
Sincerely,
An Ileostomate nicknamed Justbreathe 🫶🏼
MissMeganM
Apr 28, 2013 2:12 pm
I say meet and date whoever you want; I'm open about my ostomy and have yet to meet a guy who was interested who objected to it. And I've never met another person with one; it's just not that common. You have a health condition you can't help having!
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TimothyKevin
May 05, 2013 4:58 pm
This is a difficult situation for both male ostomates and female ostomates. The average public has no idea what these operations are, and when you have to explain to them what they are, and that you have one, many of them recoil in shocked horror and look at you like you have three heads. I've gotten "unlucky" a number of times when I was on the verge of victory only to have to mention this um... little inconvenience.
I have found that nurses, nurse aides, doctors, and other medical technicians are not fazed by this situation. I think probably some lawyers and other professional people also are intelligent enough not to be struck dumb with terror upon having the situation explained to them.
The other option, of course, is to find a fellow ostomate. At least you don't have to go through a complicated, potentially humiliating dramatic scene with your potential girlfriend/boyfriend about what the situation is, what it means, and how we have to live with it.
MissMeganM
May 06, 2013 12:13 pm
I think the recoil factor has a lot to do with fear. I live in a small community, so everyone knows what happened to me. It was a messed up story, for sure. But when I have to explain things, I keep it brief and technical. I use medical terminology and not "Joe Schmo-speak." Also, I let them know when I don't have clothes on, you still can't see anything because I wear a wrap, which I describe as a piece of lingerie (which is what my wraps look like, lol). Basically, I try to calm the fear. People, as a rule, are terrified because they don't understand how you can go around alive with part of your intestine exposed. They're afraid to hurt you, or that you are hurting, they are afraid that your health is fragile. I get that; if I were on their end, I wouldn't be grossed out by the person, I'd be afraid for them. I'd be worried about them.
And as an aside, can I just say TimK - you used to write for Art Bell? WICKED COOL!
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How to Adjust to Life with an Ostomy with Bruce | Hollister
