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Time to move on...

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Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:30 pm
Hi everybody! I hope that you guys don't mind if I vent a little. I have been trying to find a way to cope and release frustration. Recently I blogged about meeting new people and exploring what life has to offer. The reason for this is because I recently separated from my wife of 24 years. We have been having problems for many years now and I thought that it would be best to split. I guess that all the surgeries and complications that I went through took it toll on her. Actually on the both of us. To be honest it lead her to stray! I know that I can be difficult at times and not easy to live with, but I couldn't take the humiliation anymore! I tried to make it work but the more I tried the more she tormented me. The longer I ignored the cheating the worse it got and it was thrown in my face. After awhile I became calloused to it all. Please don't get me wrong it hurt, it hurt bad! I couldn't understand how she could do this to me especially when I have been through so much. One thing that I will say though I have never cheated despite her actions!! I believe in loyalty, devotion. I wasn't going to play the same game, I am to old for that. Now that we are apart I feel free and my stress level is gone finally. My anger has left and I feel good about leaving. We have gotten along better this past 2 weeks apart then we have in years! Funny huh? I think the main reason of spilling my guts to strangers is that we as ostomates don't have to tolerate our spouses cheating just because we are different. I know that I am not the only one that has experienced this. Everyone has their own story to tell. We can't be responsible for what others do or act. The moral to this story is that if you feel disrespected and you been cheated on you need to stand up for yourselves and leave the person that you are with no matter how much you care about them. Do what's right for you. Thanks for listening I needed to vent. I hope to find happiness in the near future.   lol, Chris
Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:39 am
Hi Chris vent away! It's not fair and it's humiliating enough to be an Ostomate without it being used as an EXCUSE to do the dirty. I think you have done the right thing. You have the right as a human being to be loved and respected unconditionally and I sincerely pray you meet someone with a big heart who will love you for the man you are. God bless you and give you the peace of mind and spirit to get through the days ahead. Remember all your friends are here for you xoxo.
Fri Jan 24, 2014 11:20 am
Hi Lorraine, how are you doing? I hope all is well with you also. I just wanted to thank you for your reply. You are right, she found every excuse in the book to justify her behavior! In the long run she did me wrong. A leopard doesn't change it's spots. hehe... That is why we are no longer together. I'm doing good with no regrets. Life goes on. Now she has her freedom to do whatever she wants. I guess we are both happy now! Well anyway I have to go. Once again thank you for your kind remarks.. lol, Chris
Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:27 pm
Hi i am ok but having a little problem that hopefully will be nothing to get bothered about.
I hope i wasn't too blunt but i sincerely wish you well and i have no doubt you will find someone who loves you bag and all. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and, find something you really enjoy doing and day by day life will improve. Its already starting to improve she's gone and you have a chance of a better life! Oh my did i really say that!! But what the heck we can say whatever we want here. Bye for now and hopefully speak again soon.
Sun Jan 26, 2014 7:32 pm
You're so right Panhead...MANY in our ostomate family, have lost their relationships during the transition from illness to hope. We "Senior Members" have learned to accept that our "ATTACHMENTS" are the "perfect" JERK alert monitors!! After the initial pain, humiliation, self doubt, self consiousness, self loathing and absolute faith that your life is over...... reality sets in. You are still the loving, caring, honest and giving human you've ALWAYS been, but with a better understanding of the important things. Of course...if you were an ...hole before, you can very well STILL be one, it's up to you I guess. LOL  You've already lived through hell, made it through the fire and are a member of  the "HERO" survivors club. Never settle for more than you deserve  ........BEG
Tue Jan 28, 2014 9:43 am
Hi Chris,

Life tries us in many ways, and a cheating partner is horrid, I know I have been there, and like you I was hurt  really bad, think one of the hardest parts was she was cheating on me with my so called best mate! I tried everything to make our marriage last,but alas it broke down and she walked out, that was 12 years ago.All the anger has gone ( I still don't speak to my X and never will) I am with someone else now and very happy. Hey maybe my so called best mate done me a favour! In this life you have to make your own luck and do what you think is right.

Be safe and be strong!
Tue Jan 28, 2014 9:45 am
Hi Mate I fully understand your plight and hope you find a considerate partner in the near future. I have the 2 stomas , ileo and urostomy  and thogh my wife  doesnt have sex with me she does help now and then with dressing etc, so I have to allow her some freedom

cheers mate
jas
Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:41 pm
Hi browneyedgirl, how are you today? I hope that all is well with you also. Life is better now. You are right I am still the same person that I was before. Actually I am better then before. Meaning the ostomy thing. I have been giving a second chance and now I think that I appreciate life more. I was a caring person before and now I am more caring. I respect myself more. Actually before the ostomy I was kinda reckless. I am nothing like that now!! I also treat people with respect. I will eventually find someone who is caring, loving and most of all trustworthy. Hopefully someone will come my way. Thank you so much for your input. Your friend, Chris
Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:46 pm
Hi lorraine-cooper1960. Thank you for your reply. I too hope that we will speak again soon! I like the way you express yourself! hehe.. Take care. your friend, Chris
Tue Mar 24, 2015 9:37 am

there is a powerful track called "time to move on " see if you can post the  utube link on here, im not techno enough. its by the rascal flats

good luck with everything you do

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