June 6th was a terrible day - I was in a depression that was just horrible. I came here and asked about having a new colostomy and asked how you all coped. Your responses helped me tremendously. Our cases are different but my takeaway was that even with our differences we have much in common. The questions, the fears, the uncertainty...we all have it. To know that I was not alone gave me a feeling of security....sort of like being given a pair of cyber warm fuzzy slippers.
Updates: We have finally figured out how to stop the leaking - with the help of a wonderful visiting nurse and my husband (he's a retired engineer) they came up with a solution. Apparently I have an "inny/innie" and needed a convex flange...then we needed to use the paste as well. We tried putting one flattened layer of paste (I call it caulk) around the stoma...that didn't work. So now we put a circle of caulk around the stoma (like toothpaste) and an identical one on the flange - the two connect and the bond has not failed once! I have to leave it on for at least 48 hours or else it's a pain to remove the old caulk off of my skin...I am now on a Monday/Friday change schedule. So far so good. I change the pouch on Wednesday. For me this works.
The incision infection, while cleared up, is still draining serous/sanguinous....I am still in the warm shower twice a day to help with the intentional healing...it's getting better - it is getting smaller and I use the time in the shower to meditate or sing songs out LOUD!
My colostomy (due to perforated diverticulosis) was on April 28th. I am going for my presurgical colonoscopy in another two weeks. Since there was no time to give a look-see preop in April (surgery was done emergently) the surgeon wants to see what's going on inside and if there are issues that need to be addressed, to take care of them now.
I am exhausted - I turn 65 in October and I've always been relatively active. I could easily walk two miles- not quickly but I could do it. I find that I am deconditioned from the convalescence....so I am trying to increase my activity. However, after I get home from my walk (in the mall) I come home exhausted and need to sleep for 2 hours or so.
My goal is to be in better shape physically and mentally for the reversal surgery. I've lost (unintentionally) about 25 pounds and have been taken off two of my blood pressure meds (yeah!!!) - I am now only on one.
My next step is the reversal - I've read some nightmare stories, however, each of us is different and I am optimistic that it will all work out OK.
Actually, my very next step is the colonoscopy - I never had one before but I know about bowel preps. This should be interesting (I say with a snicker)...
I cannot thank you enough for letting me know that my feelings were "normal" and that eventually I would reach a level of normalcy. My new normal is no longer waking up and thinking right off "was this a nightmare?"....that's over because I have come to accept that this is what happened and now I am dealing with it.