Hello Bettyjoe. Thanks for letting us know what is happening with your first attempts. Don't give up on it just yet, it's like Kittybo says, everybody is different and you need to know your stoma.
Because I developed a hernia which blocks the stoma, I could not get the cone in at all for a while and water was spurting out into the sleeve like you describe. However, with a little digital exploration, I found out what was wrong and figured out how to overcome it. It was my stoma nurse who showed me how to poke my finger in the stoma to identify what is happening and I have been doing that for some years now because things change in there and I want to know what is happening so that I can do something about it. What I found was that I could not get my finger in at first because the peristomal muscles that were blocking the way were so strong they would not let anything past. With perseverance, I applied some medium pressure with my little finger and left it there for a minute or so. Much to my surprise, the muscles suddenly relaxed and my finger just slid into the stoma with no problem at all. Once it was in there for a few seconds, the muscles started to try to push it out again. The strength in the muscles is amazing and it took quite a lot of effort to keep my finnger from being pushed out. Then, after about thirty seconds or so, it all relaxed again. This process kept repeating itself - presumably just like it would if it was trying to expel faeces. Knowing what was happening has allowed me to time the insertion of the cone so that it gets past these muscle bockages and I make sure I apply enough pressure so that the cone doesn't get pushed out again when the next peristalsis pressure gets underway.
Back to the irrigation process:
First of all, because of all the spillage, I needed much more water than was possible in the kits provided. Secondly, I needed a bit more water pressure so that it could help the cone insertion past the blockage. My solution was to adapt a 5 litre pressurised container ( the first one was a garden sprayer but I found a better one later) Pumping the water in, gave enough water pressure to allow the cone into the stoma without causing any damage. I keep my eye on how much water was lost in that process and then I know how much is actually getting into the stoma and I can judge when to stop. Any spare water is quite useful for cleaning around the stoma when the process is finished.
If you are rich, there is a water pressure gadget on the market that I did a review on a few years back that works quite well, but still did not contain enough water for my requirements. If you are interested, the review is still listed as one of my blogs. ( I'll see if I can find the date for you)
Best wishes
Bill
PS: 08/17/12 Review of Braun Irrimatic