Bag Interference During Intimate Moments: Any Solutions?

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drkknight
Hi,

First post on here so, please be gentle. I was wondering, has anyone found a way of keeping that darn bag out of the way when they are having one of their most intimate moments? I've used techniques such as holding it under a t-shirt, etc... What do you do? It just plain can get in the way sometimes...

Thanks in advance.
NJ Bain

DK,

I've been an ostomate for 12 years now. Usually, I'll just fold my appliance upwards and put a piece of medical tape on it. It holds well and comes off easily without tearing a layer of skin off. Hope this helps.

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dcrazy
Lol.........I am only saying that because I used the same thing, tuck under shirt. Try using a smaller bag and putting it in horizontally instead of vertically. Use some tape to hold it in place; this should do the trick. Tucking under shirt will make you self-conscious of it popping out. This way, it will allow for multiple positions.
tarababy

Hi folks...well I think of all the trouble you can have with these things...this one is the worst...nothing worse than that bag getting in the way...well I have a solution...I started with plastic bowl covers...You can buy them at any good supermarket...They worked so well I got a dressmaker to make up 6 in material...The bowl covers come in quite a few sizes, and you just fold it up and pull the mini shower cap over it...lol...Works like magic...No more sticky tape or embarrassments...That dressmaker is now making some for a friend of hers with a colostomy...Another for the ladies...try a suspender belt that is about 12 inches wide..I'm sure you know the ones I mean..Goes from the waist to the crotch line...very sexy and keeps that damn bag up and away...Or you could try a boob tube top...I do that sometimes also...put it on so it sits under the stoma, then pull it up and over and tuck it into the top half...Gee even guys could use this one...Anyway hope this helps as it has helped me to no end. So throw that tape away and get on with intimate times with no hassles...Love to all out there....Chow for now...Tarababy

erika

Hi chance would be a fine thing, couldn't handle rejection either so I don't go there now, sad but that's how it is. 53 and might as well be a nun but never mind I'm alive and okay. Love my family, my dog, and love music so things not so bad.

 
Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
tonybandit

Hi, first post for me so here goes.....

I use a belt and I tuck the offending item under that, it stays there with no problems....
Just remember to pull it back out after as I've forgotten before now and it soon
wakes you up....

Hope this helps....

Hey, I've even used a bandage...... Covers the whole thing....

Tony..

PS, I was scared to have sex with anyone but after the first time, nothing
stops me now..... Wooooohoooooo

tarababy

Hi Tony, yeah I'm with you, once I got those mini shower caps there was no looking back. I use your method when working, as I'm standing and walking all morning, so easier that way. But careful when it fills, for me it looks like I have a nice package for someone... lmao. Later guys and good luck. Tarababy

kenkd

I use an ostomy support belt that I purchased from C M Ostomy Supply for 50 bucks. I know it's kind of expensive, but it keeps the bag flat against your body, with extra support for controlling possible leaks. It is fine to wear under clothes for everyday use. When you are moving a lot (i.e. belly to belly), it seems to hold everything in place, as sometimes your skin barrier will lose its contact with your skin (and you'll wind up changing it afterwards). The support belt will minimize the movement of the barrier if you're not too overly aggressive.
Hope that helps.

dcrazy
Do these ostomy belts really work? I am not talking about being intimate, my girl actually gets upset when I tape it and take the time, the darn thing just doesn't accept my pride, but she is cool with everything. Anyway, I am talking about the gym. I am always self-conscious in the gym, my heart races like crazy because of my bag possibly appearing, does this belt really help with it not showing? I mean, wouldn't that flatten your stoma/colostomy? Also, is the belt bulky? I have thought about it, but never considered it until recently with all you guys reporting.
kenkd

I can honestly say that the ostomy support belt from C M Ostomy Supply does hold the bag in an out-of-the-way position that you may find favorable. For one, you don't have to tuck the bag, which can possibly cause some leakage should you have one of those moments. While I have had a couple of skin barrier failures while wearing the wrap (but not because of it), it did a lot in keeping the mess to a minimum as opposed to not having it there to hold things in place. I almost never leave the house without it on because it feels much better than having a bag against your skin under your clothing.
I don't work for C M, but I recommend this support 'belt' for the aforementioned reasons. Fifty dollars is a lot to pay (in my opinion), and should you have any issues with the belt, the company will work with resolving them.
As far as not showing under your clothing, it depends on what you are wearing, I guess. I wear my shirts loosely, so people haven't a clue. Of course, if you are wearing something close to skin tight, you can see the outline of the belt, as well as the 'lump' the bag makes in the inner sleeve. Overall, it does a nice job of concealment, and surely in the area of making you feel most comfortable.

As far as the more intimate activities, it looks like an ace bandage wrap. It would be nice if they made more decorative belts. But it does wonders in keeping things tucked away during those moments.

Past Member

Hello everyone. I have had an ostomy now for almost 22 years and I have to say I don't use anything extra and I've never had any major issues!

When it comes to bathing suits, I do wear ones that either have a skirted bottom or nowadays the bottoms that look like shorts. Both work well and hold my pouch in place.

If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask me!

tonybandit

I don't know about being in the bath or swimming pool but I use a
belt and I find it gives me confidence.
If you are very active, I would say to try one and see how you feel.
I started to use a belt as my stoma was very flat and it needed to be
pulled out a little and this helped...

Tony..

Past Member

Knock on wood....my stoma has never been inverted or prolapsed! And all my surgeries were done by a general surgeon! The only thing I try to do before times of intimacy is empty my pouch, no matter if it needs to be or not, again I've never had any issues.

Chawa
Why are we women like that? I'm 59 by now and have had my stoma for 9 years. Also living like a nun for the same reasons as you. Never heard a man talking like us.
tarababy

Hi ladies, well I find this all very weird...the way people hide this or the way they are too embarrassed to go out and get laid...it's just sex for crying out loud....all I can say is stop playing the nun and go get a good man to give you some relief...you might be surprised at how good and how easy it all was...if you get a knock-back...brush off and go again...if men can do so can women...I do. It's just sex...if you're looking for a life partner, well that can happen too....if you put yourself in the "too old" or "too hard" basket....so will everyone else....if you're scared of them seeing the bag for the first time..turn the bloody light off or wear something appropriate..trust me ladies if I can get 20-year-olds chasing me..I'm almost 45..you girls can get what you want too...sorry ladies but I'm well known for being up front and very open and honest...now go rip that cute guy's pants off and show him what you're capable of. Lay money you will feel better in no time....cheers Tara P.S..maybe my attitude is just an Aussie thing...lol

meglb

I admire your honesty, Tara. These are the cards we've been dealt, and we're here to lift each other up!

------------------Meg

tarababy

Thanks Meg, I do hope that nobody takes offense and they have a go at getting out and about a bit more, does wonders for the ego. I have always been up-front about sex. Maybe it was all those years as a dancer that gave me more oomph than some. Nah, that's not the word I'm looking for... Anyway, sex and anything remotely resembling sex was a big NO-NO when I was a kid. Mum would turn off the TV if she saw kissing or cuddling (but okay for her boyfriends to do what they did). So maybe this is me rebelling against that. I always thought it was a good way to show you like someone. I've never been afraid to try something, nah everything twice, just in case I wasn't sure the first time around... and because of it, I get a lot of people asking what's something like... Like the difference between normal sex (known to some as vanilla sex) being because it's so dull and boring and the same all the time... and the other kind... Well, that's my kind... I'm not a dull and boring person... lmao... Well, I better get going now... think I might have stirred the pot enough for one day... take care Meg and chat soon... Tara

meglb

Hi Tara----I remember my surgeon telling me to start having sex as soon as possible after my surgery, he said it was healthy and would be good for me! Well, my mother was there when he said it (I was 23 and single), I had a big grin on my face and my poor mother was mortified!
I went to a private Catholic school K-12 so you can imagine what my sex education was like---zero!! Poor Barbie and Ken not anatomically correct, what I put those two through! Eventually, I figured it out and it's a good thing with or without an ostomy.

tarababy

Oh my goodness Meg, that's a funny story. I realize many years ago it might have been like a nunnery at a Catholic school...but nowadays, here anyway...I put my youngest girl in one for 3 months. That was enough. Some of the things I heard about made me go grey just that little bit more...and all from the girls who went there, not the teachers or such. Funny world we live in, hey? Mind you, I was raised a (now don't hold this against me) Jehovah's Witness...My adopted father was the minister. Well, after my mum found out he had a second family started, we went our own ways...lmao...And yes, well, we were all young once, and can only hope we made enough good memories to think back on...I did...take care Meg and chat soon...gee, wish someone would say something other than us few...

vulcanBMk2

Sex!!!! Oh yeah, I remember that!! It was quite good fun. It was quite good fun... Wasn't it????

tarababy

LMAO..What does one say to that?!! Oh, you're a crack-up Pete...oh and that means hilarious by the way...There's some good old Aussie lingo for ya!...check ya later....Tara

vulcanBMk2

When filling in forms, I always fill in Name, Age, Address, etc. When the question Sex comes up, I always write in "No Trick Questions Please".

tarababy

That section of the form is always fun, I put 'yes please'. And I think some call it a Brain F*rt, I call it a Fly-by, makes sense to me - that great idea... it just flew right on over?!! (There is a real card for getting points to get cheaper air fares) Ok, well here with certain place, like a grocery store.... as the check-out girl puts your things through they will ask if you have Fly-bys (meaning this card)...... I turn back and just say..."Yeah a lot" with that look on my face ..'Oh, you get them too?'... They are like...... Huh? Then it's a matter of if I want to stand around and explain or not.. Good service, they get an answer, bad service I leave them wondering..

Past Member

Hi, if you do find a problem with the pouch, then you can buy crutchless knickers. You can get these from Whiterose Collection or from sex shops. These are great as you don't need to worry about the pouch in the way. Regards, Sharon x

tarababy

Merrywidow, that's a great idea, thanks.... I also cut the crutch out of pantyhose, most times you couldn't even tell it's there, and the legs look great in the process......

vulcanBMk2

Belly to Belly OOH, that's a new one on me!!! That makes position number 118.... Must try it sometime... lol lol ??????

tarababy

Gee Pete, only 118? Thought you would be way higher than that..... Or is that Mr. Mild I'm thinking of? LMAO.. Anyway, who's counting, I'm too scared to. :?Hey, what's a vagina and a penis running down the road? Just one f***ing thing after another. Cheers

Past Member

118!! Whew, that is quite a lot. Afraid I can't count that high without a calculator. I'm gonna have to admit to about 30, but mind you some require props and one a small burro.... Learned that one the year I spent with a band of Indians... They even had an official Indian name for me "3 tracks" seems I left 3 tracks when walking through the snow. Wonderful gals those Indians... Ah, memories.

vulcanBMk2

Oh yeah, that tribe of Indians.... Hee Hee. Talking about nuns, did I ever tell you about the time I lost my way and ended up knocking on a nunnery door??? Anyway, the story includes references to surgical rubber gloves and a box of a dozen black candles..... Remind me to tell you sometime............

tarababy

Burro's?? Indians? The mind boggles. Nuns, candles and gloves?? Remind me not to drop anything when you guys are around. Sorry guys, seems I have lost my sense of humor, and can't find it anywhere. About to give up and go hide in that corner again. Cya's