As a wife, what should I expect?

I have so many questions. How long to recover? Will he be able to be more active? How does he take care of his skin?

If you haven't already had your surgery, the doctor and the stoma nurses should be able to answer most of those questions for you. If you've just had your surgery, you still need to start with them. After that, this site can be a veritable font of information. Lol I know there are a million questions you must have. Don't worry, you'll get the answers you need and you'll be fine.

Could I ask you just one question? How long did it take you to recover from the surgery and get your strength back?

Dear Rose1234, Good advice from weirdnewlife. Don't be afraid to ask your questions. I know this is a very good site to join to get the support you need. Take care of yourself too. Healing is different for everyone, but the surgeon and nurses will cover that.

Best wishes,

Morning glory

Hi Rose,

It's difficult to expect anything; everyone is different. There is much to read here. Search the forums and see if there are particular answers to some of the questions. Take each day as it comes, and you can always come back if you are unsure of something. We're here to help.

How to Stay Hydrated with an Ostomy with Collin | Hollister

Hello Rose 1234. Welcome! In an effort to answer your question about how long it takes to recover, I would point out that everybody is different, so healing times are difficult to predict. However, as a general rule, 6-8 weeks is what is expected for the physical healing process to have developed enough to be clear of most of the initial problems. There is a much longer convalscent period, when caution is advised because of the risk of hernias etc. As for the psychological healing process: A lot depends on the attitude and disposition of the person with the conditon. Also, whether they opted for the surgery or whether it was sprung upon them. In the former case they have probably done a lot of adjusting prior to it happening, which enables them to adjust quicker to the actual event. In the latter, some folks adjust quickly and others not so much. There are a few who never seem to adjust to their situation at all, but that is how life is with or without a stoma. 

Best wishes

Bill

Dear Bill 

When you talk about the convalescent period, do you mean physical weakness or mental healing?

I will ask you this: If my husband has the operation in October, will he be able to go to Florida in January? He will recuperate much faster in the warm climate where he can get out in the sunshine and walk, or am I being totally unrealistic?

Hello Rose1234. Primarily I was talking about physical recuperation, although a good holiday as you describe will probably do him the power of good as long as he doesn't overdo the exercising. If he has his operation in October, he should be fine for a break in January as long as there are no complications. It's all about taking things easy in the early phases, until you know what things you can and cannot do safely.

Best wishes

Bill 

Hi Rose! First off, both physically and mentally, your husband will recover faster with you by his side supporting him. This is not a minor issue, as I have seen numerous posts where a spouse could not accept the whole pouch issue, and the convalescent partner was left to struggle on his or her own, leading to much longer recovery time, problems with depression, and on and on. Luckily, my husband was right there with me every single step of the way, making me feel much better about the entire ordeal, and being totally accepting and supportive. I was in the hospital for about 7 weeks total, but that was because of dealing with acute peritonitis from a perforated colon, culminating in the colostomy. By the time I went home, I was walking without a walker (but slowly!), and after several more weeks I was closer to normal. My surgery was in October as well, and by January I was back to working part-time in an office (doing income taxes, so no strenuous physical labor involved), driving as needed around town, and basically living a pretty normal life. Now, it has taken me much longer to get back into my pre-cancer, pre-ostomy vigorous physical condition (10-15 mile bicycle rides, etc.). It has taken me 5 years to get back into that kind of shape, and I still have some issues I'm working on.

Best of luck to you and your husband, and I hope everything turns out well.

Hi Rose, It's so good that you're writing..... People on this site are very helpful, but we need to know what you're asking about... I have an ileostomy for 50 years (since I was a teen) for Ulcerative Colitis. Today, most people who need surgery for UC go for the J pouch (and internal pouch); other people have colostomies.... from IBD or cancer, and the colon is brought out onto the skin. It sounds like the "diversion" your husband had is for bladder, but you don't say if he has a stoma.... or if they did it with tubes. My mother had a "nephrostomy"... where the tube went into the kidney, and the urine flowed into the pouch. With any of these procedures.... there is a mental and emotional healing, and an acceptance of the body changes. But maintenance issues are really important, and unless your hospital or doctor connects you with a supply company or a stoma nurse, you don't know what you need or what's available. My local hospital... and those around me, don't have a "stoma nurse" even though they have a wound care center. Very strange. Instead, they use the visiting nurse service. If you're not sure what you need or what services are around you, you can call the United Ostomy Association, and they will tell you if there are support groups in your area. You can also call surgical supply companies and ask to speak to a nurse.... about specific supplies for whatever procedure your husband had done. If he has a stoma, through which the urine flows, then he needs to keep the skin around the stoma clean (I don't use soap) in order to put on a specific wafer/flange made to stick to his skin. A pouch is then attached to the flange and has an open end at the bottom to empty the urine. You do not need to change the wafer unless there's a leak. But I'm not an expert on the care of a urinary diversion. Post another question..... asking for people who have that surgery to respond. Best of luck. Your husband is lucky to have you.. Marsha

It took me almost a year to be fully back, but in about 3 months, you start to see it is improving.