This topic is about the experiences and expectations people have before undergoing surgery that might result in an ostomy. Many find themselves unprepared for the realities of living with an ostomy, as they often receive little information beforehand. The discussion highlights the importance of better communication between patients and healthcare providers and invites others to share their experiences. Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by the community:

1. Be your own advocate:
- Research surgeons in advance and try to avoid relying solely on emergency room assignments. Seek out colorectal specialists when possible.
- Always seek second opinions and question treatment plans, as the skill level of surgeons can vary greatly.

2. Use ostomy nurses and peer support:
- While surgeons perform the operation, certified ostomy nurses provide essential real-world care advice.
- Take advantage of hospital programs and online communities for practical tips that doctors might overlook.

3. Master pouch application for longer wear:
- Clean the stoma with plain water, dry it thoroughly, warm the wafer to body temperature, apply firm pressure for 30 seconds, and use adhesive remover when changing it. Some users report wear times of 7-10 days.
- Use moldable rings to fill gaps and cover any local abscesses with gauze and adhesive before applying the wafer.

4. Consider irrigation for suitable colostomies:
- Daily or alternate-day irrigation can keep some users bag-free all day, reducing leaks and odors.

5. Manage skin, hernias, and belts:
- If skin irritation occurs, consult an ostomy nurse. Specialized wafers, convexity, paste, or rings can often resolve these issues.
- Hernia prevention and management belts can be helpful but may add bulk, so choose a style you can tolerate long-term.

6. Travel and activity are still possible:
- With planning and spare supplies, activities like long train rides, flights, hiking, racing cars, and full-time work are achievable.
- Changing in a sleeper car or hotel is feasible; just pack an extra kit and zip-lock bags.

7. Mental health matters:
- Issues like post-traumatic stress, depression, and body-image concerns are common. Support from psychologists familiar with PTSD, support groups, or peer mentors can be more beneficial than antidepressants alone.

8. Legal and systemic considerations:
- Some members attribute their ostomies to surgical errors and consider legal action, though they warn of the emotional and financial costs.
- Keep thorough records and consult an attorney experienced in medical malpractice if needed.

9. Reliable resources mentioned:
- University of Michigan Hospital for complex bowel repair
- Mayo Clinic for pathology reporting
- Johns Hopkins and Georgetown University Hospital for gastroenterology
- The Ostomy Center in Kansas City for product fitting and troubleshooting
- Hollister Adapt Barrier Ring for moldable ring solutions

These shared experiences emphasize the gap between what is discussed before surgery and the actual management of an ostomy, highlighting the need for proactive education, skilled nursing support, and community sharing.