This topic is about a widow who, after seven years, is ready to start dating again. She is seeking advice on how and when to tell potential partners about her ostomy bag. Here are some helpful insights and advice from others who have been in similar situations:

1. Timing – wait for mutual interest:
- Some suggest waiting until you feel a genuine connection or after a few dates. A common personal guideline is to share by the third date, so you have control over the situation and aren't caught off guard.

2. Timing – be open from the outset:
- Others prefer to be upfront from the beginning, adopting a "take me as I am" approach. Many have found that this honesty leads to no rejections.

3. Gauge the person first:
- Use early conversations, texts, and initial dates to assess the person's character and the potential for a relationship. If you feel they wouldn't accept it, you might choose to end things without disclosure. If they seem compatible, share your situation and see their reaction.

4. How to tell:
- When you decide to share, don't just say, "I have an ostomy." Explain why you have it, what it means for your daily life, and how it might affect shared activities. Keep the tone positive and confident, emphasizing that the surgery was life-saving and doesn't limit most activities.

5. Expect varied reactions:
- While some may react negatively (like one person whose date left during lunch), many partners accept the news when given context. If someone does reject you, see it as an opportunity to find someone who truly appreciates you.

6. Attitude matters:
- A positive, straightforward approach helps others see the ostomy as just one aspect of who you are. Continuing to lead an active lifestyle, including dating, sports, and travel, shows that the ostomy isn't a barrier.

7. Practical tips:
- Wearing a waistband or clothing that conceals the pouch can keep it unnoticed until you're ready to disclose. Before talking, consider how you would react if the roles were reversed and be prepared to answer the same practical questions you might ask.