This topic is about a person who has been living with an ostomy for a year after cancer surgery and is now facing a permanent ostomy following a pelvic exenteration. At 35, she is struggling with feelings of unattractiveness and despair about her changed body and future.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. True attractiveness comes from your character, kindness, and inner beauty, not just physical appearance. An ostomy does not define who you are.

2. Give yourself time to adjust. Many people with ostomies report feeling much better about their body image and life within a year or so.

3. Consider seeking professional counseling or crisis-team support. Therapy can be crucial for dealing with trauma, PTSD, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

4. It's okay to feel sad or to take a moment to "wallow." Acknowledge your emotions, but then try to take small steps forward with self-compassion.

5. Lean on supportive communities, such as family, friends, and ostomy forums, to avoid feeling isolated and to gain practical ideas and encouragement.

6. Use practical aids to improve body image, like decorative or colored bag covers, so the pouch isn’t always visible.

7. Music or motivational tools, such as songs like Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are,” inspirational tattoos, or daily affirmations, can help reinforce positive self-talk.

8. Create a bucket list and set future goals. Don’t let a small pouch dictate the rest of your life.

9. Keep perspective: many people live fulfilling lives with major disabilities. Your stoma is a life-saving part of you and a testament to your bravery.

10. Scars are symbols of survival. Many partners and loved ones care about the person, not the body changes, and intimacy can return.

11. The impact of suicide on loved ones is profound. Focus on the will to survive rather than the ability to die, and reach out whenever dark thoughts arise.

12. Members of the community offer ongoing availability for private chats or late-night support. You are not alone.