Fully understand your present state of mind Kitty.
Of course wanting to feel “attractive” is important. It’s about self esteem.....how we move forward….how we live. It’s no sin to want to feel good about yourself.
I wish I had some profound words of wisdom for you but I haven’t. However, I would like to share this story.
The other day I was lining up to pay for fuel at my local servo (obeying the 1.5m social distance rule of course) and a man in a wheel chair was in front of me. Nothing out of the ordinary. I thought he must have been buying newspaper or something but he was actually paying for fuel too. I assumed he must have had someone with him in his car so after I paid, I purposely watched him wheel himself back to his vehicle. He was alone.
He opened the driver’s side door and somehow slid himself into the drivers seat. He then folded up his chair and connected a strap attached to the back of the chair to a mechanical device that hydraulically lifted the chair and placed it on the roof rack of his car. He then somehow secured the chair to the roof rack all the while sitting in the driver’s seat.
I was gobsmacked. I have never seen anything like it. As he started his car, I felt like going across and asking him about the “chair lifter” but I didn’t want to embarrass him or myself. Just being a witness to this extraordinary event was well worth arriving a little bit late for work. This man was obviously not going to let a wheelchair stop him from living his life.
The point being I think, is that at some stage in our lives, most of us will be dealt a curve ball….some more than others but it is, I believe, a test of our own mettle as to how how we react to these “setbacks”. Suffice to say, at the time, it’s very hard to see a way through.
Chin up Kitty, you are not alone.
On this site, plenty of the "Altered Plumbing Society" have been where you are now.
P.S. Feel free to keep posting regarding your progress. We are here to support you even if it’s only in words.