This topic is about someone who is living with an ostomy and dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) eight months after surgery. They are struggling with anxiety, especially about potential leaks from their ostomy bag, which affects their social life and causes panic attacks. Once confident and outgoing, they now feel "broken," and their relationship with their supportive partner is strained. They are reaching out to the community for advice on how to keep going when feeling exhausted and on the verge of giving up.
Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by the community:
1. Leakage anxiety and outings:
- It's normal to worry about leaks; everyone with an ostomy bag does.
- Carry a small "emergency kit" and start with short trips to build confidence.
2. Partner and communication:
- Have honest conversations about fears and feelings. Emotional reconnection requires effort beyond practical support.
3. Professional help for PTSD:
- Seek a trauma-focused therapist, as conventional talk therapy might not be enough.
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is recommended by several members.
- If depression is severe, consult a psychiatrist for possible medication.
- In the UK, MIND offers free counseling, creative programs, and peer support groups.
4. Cognitive and behavioral strategies:
- Make a nightly list of anything that went well, no matter how small, to focus on positives.
- Break problems into manageable tasks, prioritize them, and tackle one at a time.
- Use physical or creative outlets like gym, art, writing, or poetry to break negative thought patterns.
5. Perspective and motivation:
- Remember the quote: “Courage doesn’t always roar… it’s the quiet voice that says, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
- Visit places like children’s hospitals to remind yourself that others also endure hardships, which can strengthen your resolve.
- Focus on future goals, such as spending time with your daughters and rebuilding your life, rather than dwelling on past trauma.
6. Everyday coping tools:
- Listen to uplifting music, enjoy humor, and watch inspirational films like "Tracks" or "The Shawshank Redemption."
- Celebrate every small victory; each day you persevere is progress.
- Real-time chats with forum members are available for immediate support.
7. Community reassurance:
- Many members have experienced "dark days" early on but report regaining 90-95% of their old selves over time.
- Mistakes are part of the learning curve; each one teaches a lesson and is rarely repeated.
- The forum is ready to offer private messages or phone calls if urgent encouragement is needed.
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