This topic is about finding confidence in dating after undergoing a colectomy and ileostomy. The person sharing their story feels strong and ready to move forward but is concerned that having a pouch might make them less attractive to potential partners. They are looking for reassurance and advice from others who have faced similar feelings.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Celebrate survival first: The most important thing is that you are alive. Anyone who truly cares about you will appreciate that and not judge you for having a pouch.

2. Embrace self-acceptance: Feeling comfortable with your own body is crucial. Take time to adapt, understand your new limits, and build confidence in your situation before jumping back into dating.

3. Use the ostomy as a "jerk detector": If someone can't accept the pouch, they aren't worth your time. Genuine partners will focus on who you are, not the bag.

4. Timing and approach for disclosure:
- Allow a new partner to know you as a person first. When you do share about the ostomy, do it calmly and without making it a big deal.
- Avoid starting conversations with "Hi, I have a bag." Share this information once trust and interest have developed.

5. Broaden your dating pool: You don't have to date only those with an ostomy. Many people without one are understanding and accepting, so keep your options open.

6. Practical tip: Use online forums and tools to connect with people who are already open to dating someone with an ostomy.

7. Real-life encouragement:
- Many have found long-lasting relationships or marriages after surgery. Partners often express gratitude that their loved one is alive.
- People with a stoma continue to enjoy sports, travel, and social activities. Once you master the techniques, the bag rarely gets in the way.

8. Shift your perspective: Think of yourself as "fixed" rather than broken. The surgery saved your life and allows you to continue doing what you love.

9. General dating tips:
- Take things slowly and focus on building a friendship first.
- Be genuine, maintain a sense of humor, and be proud of who you are.
- Remember that looks aren't everything. Kindness, empathy, and a good heart are what truly attract the right partner.