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40,881 members
Apr 25, 2021

Seeking Connection: A Single Ostomate's Journey for Love

Topic Explanation:
The discussion revolves around the challenges faced by a single ostomate seeking romantic connections with others who have an ostomy. The original poster, diagnosed with bladder cancer and having undergone urostomy, expresses frustration over the limited dating options within the ostomy community, particularly in his geographical area. He highlights his preference for dating other ostomates due to a shared understanding and comfort level, which he finds lacking in relationships with non-ostomates. Despite his efforts on specialized dating sites and forums, he finds the number of potential partners disappointingly low and contemplates the reasons behind this scarcity.

Extracted Advice and Helpful Insights:
1. Exploring Local Support Groups:
- Consider attending ostomy support group meetings not just for support but also as a potential avenue to meet other single ostomates. Although previous attempts yielded an older demographic, it might still be a valuable networking opportunity.

2. Expanding the Search Beyond Ostomates:
- Some responses suggest not limiting the search to only ostomates. Engaging in broader social activities like volunteering or hobbies that attract women could increase the chances of meeting someone compassionate who can see beyond the ostomy.

3. Utilizing Online Platforms:
- Utilize the "Find Members" and "Relationship Search" features on ostomy-related forums and websites more extensively.
- Explore social media groups specifically for single ostomates, such as the mentioned Facebook group for singles with stomas.

4. Addressing the Challenge of Disclosure:
- The anxiety of disclosing one's ostomy status to potential non-ostomate partners is acknowledged. It's suggested to approach this disclosure with honesty and to see it as a filter for removing incompatible matches early in the relationship process.

5. Maintaining a Positive Outlook:
- Keep a positive attitude and continue participating in community forums and discussions. This can provide emotional support and potentially lead to meaningful connections.
- Recognize the personal growth and normalcy that living with an ostomy has permitted, and use this as a foundation for building self-confidence in dating scenarios.

6. Considering Long-Distance Relationships:
- Be open to long-distance relationships if local options are limited. This could potentially open up more opportunities to connect with compatible partners, even if it's not the ideal scenario.

7. General Encouragement and Perspective:
- Stay persistent and maintain hope. The right partner could appreciate
See full discusison
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