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41,459 members
Mar 08, 2010

Thought I would never say I miss having sex!

This topic is about a woman who has faced some challenges after undergoing several surgeries, including vaginal reconstruction, ileostomy, and the creation of a neobladder. She is seeking advice and support as she navigates the impact these surgeries have had on her intimate life and marriage.

Here are some helpful insights and advice for her situation:

1. Nerve recovery in reconstructed tissue can take time, often several years, to regain maximum sensation. It's important to be patient and allow for gradual progress.

2. To reduce discomfort during intercourse, use plenty of water-based lubricant and try experimenting with gentler or alternate positions that might be more comfortable for both partners.

3. Focus on non-penetrative forms of intimacy, such as skin-to-skin contact or manual and oral stimulation of the clitoris, until vaginal penetration becomes more comfortable.

4. Open communication is crucial. Discuss any fears, frustrations, and physical limitations openly to prevent issues from building up.

5. Consider seeking professional help from a couples or sex therapist who has experience with post-surgical and ostomy patients. They can provide valuable guidance and support.

6. Remember that there are many ways to give and receive pleasure. Exploring these options together can help rebuild confidence and closeness, even if intercourse is limited for now.

7. Patience, reassurance, and learning new ways to enjoy each other's company can strengthen the relationship while healing continues.
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