This topic is about finding love and navigating intimacy when you have an ostomy. It touches on the challenges of confidence, the fear of rejection, and how to approach relationships with an ostomy. Here are some helpful insights and advice:

1. Self-Confidence & Mind-set
- Think of your ostomy as a "personal jerk-detector": anyone who can't accept it isn't worth your time.
- Confidence is attractive; most people care more about who you are than your medical appliance.
- Remember, your pouch has improved or saved your life; treat it as a normal part of your body.
- As you age, you realize that nobody is physically perfect, and maturity often brings greater acceptance.
- Rejection can happen with or without a stoma; don't automatically blame the pouch if a date doesn't work out.
- Focus on building your self-esteem through exercise, counseling, or support groups, as a positive self-image can influence how others perceive you.

2. When & How to Disclose
- There are two main strategies for disclosure:
- Be honest early on, often before the first physical date, to avoid surprises.
- Wait until an emotional connection is established, then explain calmly and factually.
- Some people find partners on ostomy-specific sites, where there's an instant understanding that can ease disclosure anxiety.

3. Practical Tips for Intimate Moments
- Empty your pouch just before intimacy; many find that output stops temporarily when aroused.
- Consider using smaller appliances like stoma caps or mini-pouches for discretion.
- Use support garments like tight T-shirts, singlets, or stoma belts to keep the pouch flat.
- Choose positions that avoid putting pressure on the stoma.
- For colostomates, taking loperamide (Imodium) beforehand can help control output.
- Avoid heavy meals, alcohol, diuretics, or large fluid intake shortly before intimacy.
- Keep spare supplies, wipes, and a towel nearby to handle any leaks calmly.

4. Dating & Meeting People
- Online dating allows you to screen potential partners and disclose your ostomy when you're ready.
- Don't limit yourself to only dating other ostomates; many non-ostomates are accepting once they understand.
- Some people prefer dating other ostomates for mutual understanding, but there are many successful mixed couples.
- Building friendships first can lead to long-term romances, as many relationships start as platonic connections on forums or support groups.

5. Long-Term Relationships & Marriage
- There are many stories of spouses and partners who remain loving, supportive, and sexually active after surgery, showing that acceptance is possible.
- Some relationships may end after surgery, but this often reveals underlying issues rather than being solely due to the ostomy.
- Counseling, whether individual or couples, can help partners process body-image changes and rebuild intimacy.

6. Products & Resources Mentioned
- Stoma caps and hernia/ostomy waistbands like Nu-Support belts.
- Tight singlets or T-shirts for coverage.
- Loperamide (Imodium) to manage colostomy output.
- MeetAnOstomate.org, where many have found partners or strong support.

Finding love with an ostomy is entirely possible. Focus on building your confidence, choose a disclosure strategy that suits you, use practical tips for managing your pouch, and keep dating. Your ostomy will help filter out the wrong people and leave the right ones.