This topic is about finding the right balance between keeping an ileostomy private and being open about it. The person who started the discussion shared their experience of not telling coworkers or acquaintances about their ileostomy for many years. This choice wasn't due to shame but to avoid being defined by it or having to educate others. However, when they published a novel about ostomies, it unintentionally revealed their situation. Surprisingly, this didn't change how coworkers saw them, and it made future conversations easier, especially when discussing related topics like their daughter's surgery. Now, they choose to share this part of their life only when it seems helpful, seeing it as just one aspect of who they are.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Share your ostomy status on a "need-to-know" basis. Many agree that you don't have to tell everyone; share only when it benefits you or others.

2. If you work in a medical setting, being open might be easier since colleagues often understand the surgery and focus on your improved health.

3. It's perfectly okay to keep your ostomy private, even from family, if that makes you more comfortable and helps you avoid unwanted sympathy.

4. Some people choose to talk about their ostomy freely when asked, allowing it to be part of the conversation without letting it define them. They adapt their activities rather than giving them up.

5. Online connections and resources, like meeting other ostomates or ordering the novel "Caught Holding the Bag" through Amazon, can offer support and a sense of community.