Recovering from surgery, especially after an irreversible ileal conduit, can be a challenging journey both physically and emotionally. Here's a story of someone navigating this path, dealing with various struggles, and some advice that might help others in similar situations.

- The surgery took place on March 31, and the hospital stay was tough. Learning to change the pouch and handle leaks was particularly challenging.
- For the first month, rest was the main focus. Gradually, light housework was resumed, and by nine weeks, longer walks were possible. However, this was followed by unexpected bouts of crying.
- The person also has myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), which flared up, adding to the fatigue and mood swings.
- Family members didn't understand the emotional outbursts, calling them "silly," which led to feelings of isolation and reluctance to share emotions.
- The first post-operative check-up went well, with the next one scheduled for November 23.
- Despite becoming adept at changing the pouch and caring for the skin, stabbing pains near the stoma are a daily occurrence.
- There's a fear of being re-admitted to the hospital, which prevents seeking help from a general practitioner.
- Additional stressors include a recent bout of shingles, a father newly diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and awaiting surgery, and a very ill mother living far away.
- Current symptoms include constant pain, cloudy lime-colored urine in the pouch, and backache, suggesting a possible urinary tract infection despite drinking plenty of fluids.
- Online forums suggest that pain near the stoma could be due to over-exertion or a developing hernia. Reducing chores like vacuuming and mopping hasn't alleviated the pain.
- Feeling overwhelmed, the person often cries and hides their distress from their children.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Emotional support is crucial. Many remind that post-surgical mood swings are common, and brighter days are ahead.
2. Healing takes time. Both physical and emotional recovery can take months, but many ostomates assure that it does get better.
3. Talk to someone. Consider counseling, joining an ostomy support group, or confiding in trusted friends. Keeping feelings bottled up can worsen distress.
4. Therapy animals can be uplifting. Interaction with animals, like therapy dogs, can lift spirits.
5. Avoid over-exertion. Limit heavy tasks until cleared by medical staff, as overdoing it can cause pain or a hernia near the stoma.
6. Be vigilant for infection signs. Persistent pain and cloudy urine may indicate a urinary tract infection, so seek medical advice despite fears of hospital readmission.
7. Keep perspective. Many ostomates wouldn't be alive without their appliance, and long-term survivors affirm that life can still be full and meaningful.
8. Approach each day as a fresh start. Acknowledge past difficulties but aim for small positive goals each day.