This topic is about the challenges and hopes of dating as a gay man with a colostomy. The person sharing their story has faced significant self-consciousness and fear of rejection since undergoing surgery for anal cancer in 2015. Despite the possibility of a reversal, the outcome is uncertain. Attempts to date through mainstream apps have been discouraging, as interest often fades after disclosing the stoma. The stigma within the gay community feels more intense than that associated with HIV, especially with the availability of PrEP. Local support groups for gay ostomates are hard to find, and the cost of dating memberships adds to financial stress. Now, the person is trying MeetAnOstomate.com, hoping to find someone who will accept them as they are.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might be helpful:

1. You are not alone. Many people, regardless of orientation, experience rejection after revealing an ostomy. The community here offers empathy and solidarity.

2. Re-frame the ostomy. Treat it like any other medical issue, such as kidney stones or a hernia. Building self-confidence and viewing the pouch as just a small part of you can help partners see it that way too.

3. Consider delayed disclosure. Build a connection first and share about the ostomy once feelings have developed. This can increase acceptance, though it might hurt more if rejection happens later.

4. Practical concealment tips:
- Wear a loose "weight belt" or a wide cloth/Velcro abdominal wrap to cover the pouch and any hernia during dates or intimate moments.
- A standard weight-lifting belt under clothes can help hide the appliance. Some have found that even close partners or professionals didn't notice it.

5. Success stories exist. Several gay men have shared experiences of regular dating, casual encounters, or steady partners who accepted the ostomy once disclosed, showing that acceptance is possible.

6. Remember, partners who reject you because of a stoma reveal their own limitations. Focus on those who are mature enough to value personality and connection.

7. Specialized platforms can help. MeetAnOstomate.com is mentioned as a friendlier option with other gay male users. Persistence is important.