This topic is about a new mother who faced unexpected challenges after a traumatic childbirth. She underwent a force-vacuum delivery that led to severe complications, including multiple recto-vaginal fistulas, loss of anal sphincter function, and chronic infections. After several unsuccessful surgeries, she had an emergency loop ileostomy in December 2023. This procedure relieved her constant pain and faecal leakage, but it was a sudden change, and she is struggling with the emotional impact. Living far from her medical support, she relies on her husband for help with her stoma care, as she finds it difficult to face her new reality. She wonders if her feelings of denial, shock, and revulsion are normal.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Emotional and Psychological Support
- It's common to feel shock, grief, anger, or revulsion, especially when the stoma was unexpected. Many people experience symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress.
- Acceptance usually grows over time, so allow yourself to move through these feelings at your own pace.
- Keeping a diary, journal, or writing poetry can help channel emotions and reduce intrusive flashbacks.
- If distress continues, consider seeking professional counseling or therapy, ideally with someone experienced in PTSD or medical trauma.

2. Education and Peer Support
- Visit websites like the United Ostomy Association of America (UOAA) and Ostomy101.com for reliable information on diet, skin care, clothing, activity, travel, and product options.
- Find a local UOAA support group to connect with others who have similar experiences, which can boost your confidence.
- Use online forums and read older posts for practical tips and humor.

3. Practical Appliance-Management Tips
- Consider learning to change the pouch yourself, as taking control can reduce fear and improve acceptance.
- Use a hand mirror while changing to see the stoma clearly and ensure correct placement.
- It's safe to shower without covering the appliance, which can simplify hygiene.
- If home-health nurses seem inexperienced, you can rely on tutorials, certified WOC (ostomy) nurses, or video resources.

4. Daily Living and Recovery Strategies
- Eat small meals you enjoy, stay hydrated, and walk regularly to aid healing and stoma function.
- Most people eventually forget the pouch is there and resume activities like swimming and travel.
- Appreciate supportive family members; spouses who help with care are invaluable.

5. Legal and Medical Follow-Up
- Given the severe birth injuries, consider consulting a medical-malpractice attorney before statutes of limitation expire, and obtain all records first.
- Seeking legal advice early should not interfere with pursuing counseling or additional medical opinions.