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Mar 14, 2024

Supporting My Daughter After Hysterectomy and Stoma Bag Surgery

This topic is about a mother looking for ways to support her young daughter, who has just gone through a major surgery involving a complete hysterectomy and the creation of a stoma. The daughter now faces the challenges of permanent infertility and living with an ostomy bag. The mother is seeking advice on how to help her daughter navigate these significant changes.

Here are some thoughtful suggestions:

- Be there for her and listen. Allow her to decide when she wants to talk, cry, vent, or ask for help. Try not to push advice or be overly attentive.

- Highlight the positives. Remind her that she is alive and that the stoma has played a crucial role in saving her life. Many people find their ostomy to be a blessing compared to other outcomes.

- Encourage her to be independent. If she is physically capable, let her learn to change her pouch and manage her care. Being too involved might make it harder for her to adjust.

- Respect her personal space. Offer help but avoid being too intrusive. She might prefer to explore ostomy or hysterectomy support groups on her own rather than through you.

- Be prepared for emotional ups and downs. Intense mood swings are common in the first few weeks due to hormonal changes after a hysterectomy. Reassure her that these feelings are normal and will pass.

- Consider physical recovery tips:
1. Abdominal swelling can last up to four weeks, and she might feel like a "turtle on her back."
2. Side-sleeping might only become comfortable after about two months.
3. Gentle walking can help with recovery, but resting when tired is also important. Don’t rush her into activity.

- Offer perspectives on future family possibilities. Grieving infertility is natural, but remind her that adoption or other paths to parenthood are still options when she feels ready.

- Encourage seeking professional and peer support. Medical teams, counseling, faith communities, and online ostomy groups can offer valuable reassurance and practical advice.

- Focus on a long-term outlook. Accepting a "new normal" takes time. Encourage her to focus on rebuilding her life step by step, rather than dwelling on what has been lost.
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