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Jul 04, 2024

Dating with an Ostomy - When to Share Personal Health

Topic Explanation:
The discussion revolves around the challenges of dating with an ostomy, specifically focusing on when and how to disclose having an ostomy to a potential partner. The original poster shares a personal experience of a date reacting negatively upon learning about their ostomy, prompting them to seek advice on handling such situations and dealing with potential rejection.

Advice and Insights from Replies:
1. Timing of Disclosure:
- Some participants advocate for disclosing the ostomy early in the dating process to filter out those who may not be accepting or understanding, suggesting that it's better to know sooner rather than later if someone can handle this aspect of your life.
- Others suggest waiting until you've established a connection and determined that the person might be worth investing more emotionally. This approach is based on the idea that once someone knows you better and cares about you, they are more likely to accept all parts of you, including your ostomy.

2. Dealing with Rejection:
- Rejection should be viewed as a filter rather than a setback, indicating that the person may not have the qualities necessary to handle life's challenges with you.
- It's important to maintain self-worth and confidence; rejection based on your health condition reflects more about the other person's limitations than your own value.

3. Practical Tips for Disclosure:
- Consider using humor or a straightforward approach when you feel the time is right to disclose your ostomy.
- Some suggest using accessories like the Stealth Belt to conceal the ostomy during initial dates, reducing the need for immediate disclosure until you're more comfortable.

4. General Encouragement and Support:
- Many responses emphasize the importance of self-love and confidence. Being comfortable and accepting of your own condition is crucial before expecting others to accept it.
- Community support is highlighted, with many sharing personal anecdotes of positive dating experiences despite having an ostomy, reinforcing that respectful and understanding partners do exist.

5. Personal Experiences and Preferences:
- Experiences vary widely, with some having positive dating experiences by being upfront about their ostomy, while others prefer a more cautious approach, revealing their condition only after a certain level of intimacy and trust has been established.
- A common theme is the recognition that everyone has personal challenges, and a potential partner's reaction to learning about an ostomy can be very telling of their character and suitability as a long-term partner.
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