Dating with an ostomy can bring up a lot of questions and emotions, especially when it comes to deciding when and how to share this part of your life with a new partner. Here are some thoughts and advice from people who have been in similar situations:

1. Timing of Disclosure
- Some people prefer to tell right away to filter out those who might not be understanding, believing life is too short to waste on the shallow.
- Others suggest waiting until you’ve built some rapport, as once someone likes you, the ostomy often becomes a non-issue.
- A middle path is popular: disclose before intimacy but after confirming mutual interest, such as at the end of the first date, on the second date, or simply when it feels right.
- When you do share, offer to answer questions calmly and use it as an opportunity to educate, not apologize.

2. Dealing With Rejection
- See rejection as the other person’s limitation, not yours, and be thankful you found out early.
- Confidence is key: know your value and don’t let the appliance define you.
- Stand tall, be an adult, and move on—someone else will appreciate you for who you are.

3. Emotional Strategies
- Use humor to lighten the mood, like joking about your situation.
- Remember that everyone has hidden issues; yours just happens to be more visible.
- Keep your personal medical history private until the relationship warrants sharing; reveal it when you feel comfortable.

4. Practical Concealment Tips
- Consider wearing looser or patterned tops, blouses, shirts, or sweaters on early dates.
- Use products that help flatten or hide the pouch, such as:
- Stealth Belt support belt.
- Ostomy Secrets lacy belly bands or covers.
- IGGIE Clip to fold and secure excess bag length.
- Check your appearance by sitting and standing in front of a mirror before going out to ensure nothing is visible.

5. Mindset & Self-Care
- Remember the AIMS principles: be there, honest, non-judgmental, respectful, and empowering.
- Focus on enjoying each other’s company during the date, rather than on medical details.
- Keep trying; dating can be challenging with or without an ostomy, but many partners are accepting once they are informed.

6. Community Resources
- Explore forum archives for numerous discussions on dating with a stoma; these can provide additional perspectives and boost your confidence.

Navigating the dating world with an ostomy can be tricky, but with the right mindset and strategies, it’s entirely possible to find someone who appreciates you for who you are.