Topic Explanation:
The discussion in the forum revolves around the challenges of maintaining intimacy after getting an ostomy. The original poster expresses difficulty in focusing on sexual activities due to the constant attention they feel their ostomy requires, describing it as a "big baby that needs TLC all the time." This concern highlights the psychological and emotional impact of living with an ostomy, particularly how it can intrude on personal and intimate aspects of life.

Helpful Insights and Advice:
1. Acceptance and Adjustment:
- It's important to not let the ostomy define your self-image or dictate your capabilities in life, including intimacy.
- Over time, you can acclimate to the ostomy; it will become a routine part of life rather than a focal point.
- Acceptance is key, and it's normal to feel uncomfortable initially. With time, this discomfort can diminish.

2. Gradual Progression in Intimacy:
- Start with simple acts of intimacy like kissing, cuddling, and caressing to rebuild confidence and comfort levels.
- Gradually increase the level of intimacy as you become more comfortable, allowing your partner to become more involved progressively.

3. Practical Tips and Adjustments:
- Consider using ostomy covers or wraps to help feel more secure and less self-conscious during intimate moments.
- Experiment with different positions that might make you feel more comfortable and less focused on your ostomy.
- Products like Convatec flange "caps" can be useful for intimate times as they are smaller and less intrusive.

4. Communication and Support:
- Open communication with your partner about your feelings and any insecurities can help both of you understand each other's perspectives better.
- Support from your partner, in understanding and adjusting to the ostomy, can significantly ease the transition.

5. Self-Exploration and Independence:
- Engaging in self-exploration can help in regaining a sense of control and comfort with your body.
- Taking care of the ostomy independently can boost confidence and help in not viewing the ostomy as a barrier to intimacy.

6. Mental and Emotional Considerations:
- It's common to feel unattractive or focus on the ostomy excessively; recognizing this as a mental barrier can help in gradually overcoming these feelings.
- Humor and light-heartedness can alleviate some of the stress and build a more relaxed environment