This topic is about managing intimacy and self-confidence after ostomy surgery. It can be challenging to focus on intimate moments when you're adjusting to life with an ostomy, which can feel like it demands all your attention. Here are some helpful insights and advice from others who have been through similar experiences:

1. Time and Adjustment
- In the beginning, an ostomy requires a lot of attention, but over time, it becomes part of your routine and less of a focus.
- It's normal to feel less attractive at first, but these feelings often diminish as you adapt.

2. Rebuild Intimacy Gradually
- Start by exploring self-pleasure to regain confidence in your body.
- Gradually involve your partner, starting with them watching, then helping, and eventually moving to full intimacy.
- Simple acts like kissing, cuddling, and sharing baths or showers can help reconnect.

3. Mental Re-framing
- Remember, you are the focus of your partner's attention, not the ostomy.
- Trust in your partner's continued attraction to you.
- Communicate openly about your feelings and comfort levels, and don't rush the process.

4. Covering or Securing the Appliance
- Use tube tops, maternity bands, or wraps to cover the bag and scars.
- Consider products like Stealth Belt, Ostomy Secrets lace wraps, or generic maternity or hernia belts.
- Some find success with small covers like Convatec flange caps for intimate moments, especially if you limit food and drink beforehand.

5. Position and Practical Tips
- Certain positions, like doggy style, can keep the pouch out of sight.
- Use a wrap or belt to prevent the bag from moving around.
- If noise or unexpected output occurs, try to ignore it and focus on the moment.

6. Boosting Confidence
- Treat yourself to new lingerie or "stoma lingerie" to feel more attractive.
- Surprise your partner with spontaneous gestures, focusing on fun together rather than the appliance.
- Remind yourself of the health benefits and relief from past pain that the surgery has brought.

7. Humor and Perspective
- Lighten the mood with humor, as laughter can help normalize life with an ostomy.

The key takeaway is to give yourself time, use practical supports, communicate with your partner, and ease back into intimacy step by step. Confidence and pleasure will return.