Barbie butt healing time

Hello everyone 🤗 Just had an Ileostomy about 4 week ago , i know its still too early but i really struggle with the bottom wound as partially opened up , had dissolvable stitches , my butt cheeks are still stitched but where my actual anus were that part is open. The surgeon said that they wont stitch it back again due to the risk of infection as the discharge has to come out . We applying dressings on it almost daily but im just courious that how long it actually take to completely heal ? I know that everyone is different but as many of you went through this , the intimacy with my partner is also on hold due to this , and as much as understing he is , i just dont want us to drift apart , and of course we talk to each other a lot about this which is put a little bit of ease on my mind 🙌

Hi Valeria, sorry you're going through this. You have to have a lot of patience and try your best to be calm. I had the same surgery years ago. I had a nurse at my home to pack and unpack the wound for quite a while. I'm sure your partner is understanding that healing takes time. Ask your doctor if sitz baths are good for this surgery. Take one day at a time; have patience; it will heal. Regards, S.I.L. Good luck 👍

Hi Staten, I really do appreciate your reply. It's been tough; I would lie if I said otherwise. We don't have a nurse with us, although they showed the process to my partner, so now he is doing it for me, and he is quite good, to be honest. We don't have a bath, only a shower, but it's good. I do prefer the shower; it's easier to get the wound clean.

Hello Valerie

Welcome from Oz 🇦🇺

Hi, I know very well it's a hard road to navigate, but thankfully we are all here to tell our story. My husband helped me also when things were tough. Unfortunately, he passed 7 years ago. I was grateful for his help and his understanding. Hang in there; everything will be okay. 👍 If I can be of help, message me. Be well.

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

Anything from weeks to months; mine had to be opened up as I had an abscess in there. It took around 12 months for the wound to fully heal. Fill a basin or a bowl with water, add salt, and bathe the wound. Use a washcloth, then you can just drop it in the washing machine to use again the next day. Eat lots of fruit; I've always been told it helps wounds heal.

Mine was from radiation damage and took HBO treatments to finally get it to heal. Overall, it was 9 months from surgery until I was released to go back to work.

Hey Valerie,

I've had the same. I had colon cancer and major surgery last July with complications. I had sepsis three times and an arterial bleed in my groin. Six months in ICU. I had drains from my groin and anus. I am still left with severe bladder infections.
Keep faith in surgeons, and it will heal in time.

Here if you need to talk xx

Thank you so much, everyone, for the replies. I am very happy to be a member of this huge group 😇🙌 I will try to be patient, which is not going to be easy. How long did it take for you all to return to work? As I can't afford to stay home too long, ideally, I would need to return to work by the end of September, which will be just 2.5 months after my ileostomy. I am worried about what kind of job I will be able to do or can do. At the moment, I am a member of a Customer Service team, but soon I will have to change jobs too, as we work 10 hours a day, which means sitting on my butt that long. I don't see that happening 🫣

Everyone heals at different rates, but sitting for long (or even short) periods is the one thing you have to be careful with until you're actually healed. You may physically look healed and even feel healed, but the process takes longer to fully heal than people realize.

Hi Valeria, I did not have any wound packing to do with my Barbie butt, but I did when I had my takedown/J-pouch (now I have a permanent ostomy). You've gotten wonderful, empathetic, supportive responses already from people who know, but I just wanted to add to try not to worry about what is to come. I tend to do that, too, so I get it, but I do know it puts all kinds of energy into things that are not even here yet. Things will change for you over time, and how you feel now will not be how you will feel a month from now. I also think you and your partner have great communication. This can actually make a relationship stronger. From someone who tends to overthink and worry, I would encourage you to not overthink and worry🌷! Oh, also, try sitting on a microbead pillow. It's so soft, has so much give, and allows you to sink into it without spreading the cheeks apart or having too much pain.

Hi Valerie

I hate to tell you this, but it took at least 3-4 months for me to heal. However, I never had a nurse come to pack that area at all. I just took several sitz baths per day to ease the pain and discomfort. I do remember my surgeon telling me at the time to have sex, and it will help. I know it's hard to believe you can do this, but it helped and worked for me. Thank goodness my husband was very patient and very careful. Hope you feel better soon.

I had my ileostomy a year ago, but I only just had the Ken butt surgery. I still have dissolvable stickers in, but I also think that one of the stitches is pulling slightly now and causing an itchy stabbing pain; the others feel quite normal. Okay, it's just one stitch.

In about one month post-Ken bum surgery, I can finally sit up a little to eat meals, but other than that, I'm still either standing up or lying down. I have about 3.5 weeks until my sick note runs out. I'm hoping not to have to extend it, but I also work in an office environment, so I sit down for periods of time. My employers have said I can get up and walk around every so often to relieve the pressure.

I don't have a bath either and also live alone, so I have to clean the wound myself. So far, I've managed okay and have an appointment with the dressing clinic once a week. I've found that standing and leaning forward on the wall so the water runs straight onto that area soothes and cleans the area, and then I dry everywhere with a towel, but I use gauze to dry in between the cheeks.

Don't worry about the lack of intimacy while you're recovering. You could have weekly date nights and incorporate the cleaning of your wound into it. It's kind of intimate in a way, and you can always book a long weekend away for catching up when you're healed. Kissing and massages could be a way to feel close to each other without full sex in the meantime.

Wish you the best, Mr. B

Hi Redondo. I really do appreciate your honesty. I would rather hear the truth. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm very surprised that the surgeon suggested sex for you to help with healing. I would never think about that. I'm kind of the opposite, as the wound is literally next to my private bit 🫣 But yes, thankfully my partner is very understanding.

Afternoon Mr. Brightside. Thank you very much for your reply. Hopefully, you will be able to find a solution regarding work, as I am dealing with the same issue. The company did pay 6 weeks full, and I can go on another 6 weeks if necessary, but that would be only half pay, which I am just mindful about. My partner is very supportive regarding this side too, for which I am just so grateful to him. To help with sitting, I ordered a waffle cushion from Amazon, which is amazing, and I can sit quite a good time on my butt. I definitely would recommend it for you; I paid about £25 for it, and I remember that even the nurses asked me about the cushion at the ward where I stayed. 😇 Shower-wise, I do exactly the same as you; also, the shower head can be detached, so it helps to get better cleaning around the wound.

Yes, I ordered one of those from Amazon myself.

Fortunately, I work for the NHS and have done so for 14 years. I can get 6 months of full pay and 6 months of half pay, but I'm going stir crazy at home. I'm single and miss the bustle of the office environment, but I know I'm not in a position to go back early.

I spend a lot of time on the phone or video calls with my mum and sister, but it's still very quiet, and I'm not able to really go out and about for long periods of time yet, so I'm just plodding on.

It's good you have a partner that's so understanding and also gives you that interaction while you recover.

Eventually, hopefully, I'll meet someone as understanding :)

Oh, sorry that you feel alone, but we are here for you, and I know it's not the same, but hopefully, it gives you a bit of help. To be on to family members is a good idea; I do pretty much the same, as all my family members are back in Hungary. Although I have lived in the UK for almost 13 years now, and my partner is English too, he also has 3 loving and caring children. They are also English, so it does help me with the language as well to get even better 🙌 Every day is a learning day. You are also in a good position regarding sick pay then, as hopefully, you will recover fully in 6 months, so you won't need to extend your time at home 😇🤞

I'm hoping to be back at work in 3 weeks lol. 😂 I'm going stir crazy. Oh wow, Hungarian, very nice. ☺️

I have a work colleague who grew up in Hungary but was born in Sudan; his wife is Hungarian, though.

I'm only just returning to work next week, but I was in an unusual place due to complications. My doctor, who conducted my return-to-work assessment, informed me that we are protected by law and our employer must respect what we are going through. It always helps to be in a union when going through illness too x

I had my proctocolectomy a little over three years ago, and healing the butt wound was a slow process. I would shower daily and repack the wound first with gauze and later with a silver-infused material provided by my surgeon. Over time, the size of the packing got smaller as the wound healed from the inside out. My wife had to initially do the packing, but I took over once the size of the packing got smaller. I remember it took about three months for it to heal because I couldn't start my radiation treatments until that happened. I spent a lot of time at first in my recliner to take the pressure off my butt. Hang in there; no way to speed up the healing process.

Hi YJack

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it. I never heard about the silver-infused material, and they didn't suggest it either. I had some dressing to take home, but it's like a white string we have to put inside the wound, then put the dressing on top of that. My partner is helping me out too with it. If it's not getting any better, I will definitely mention the silver-infused material to my surgeon at the next appointment 🤞😇

Hi GaryM

Thank you for your reply. To be honest, my employer does respect the situation, etc. I'm more concerned about my income. As I mentioned before, I get only 6 weeks of full pay and 6 weeks of half pay, and I can just hope that I will be able to return to work 🤞

What does the silver-infused material do? How is it different from sterile gauze?

Hi Valeria

Most of us here have been through it and understand how it is with you.

I had to have two abscesses removed before the sutures healed. It's different for each one and yet the same.

With time, it becomes easier. Please use a sitz bath. It fits easily on the toilet seat, and the warm water is very soothing.

It's a matter of time and patience; you'll be better every day.

My infected sigmoid was the start of my disease. Mayo wanted me to have a Hartmann's. 100 mg of pus came out daily. I had to give myself Dakin's solution (bleach) enemas daily. Bilateral kidney stones, painful! A year later, I insisted they remove it all. Happy as a lark.

I can't add anything medically to this conversation but wanted to say: Valeria your questions and issues are very normal and I am certain you will be better than ever soon.

Also, I have to say, this community is incredible. I learned so much from every single reply jsut in this thread and am amazed at the generosity of people sharing their experience and knowledge. It's one thing to know about something and share your knowledge; it's another when you factor in WE ARE ALL PATIENTS, TOO! There are no pity parties here, no woe is me, no why me! Sharing experiences is generous, kind and takes courage. In the spirit of that, EVERY time I speak to my ostomy nurse I beg her to share this site with everyone and I would like to cover the $$ for someone who is on here but can't afford the fee. Direct message me, please.

I have a Ken butt, and for months, there was a small opening near the top that constantly discharged body fluid, so I had to wear adult diapers with pads in them for several months. Then, because my entire pelvis was cleaned out, my small intestine naturally slid downward and started protruding from that opening, which just would never heal. So I had to have another surgery in which I asked for three layers of stitches—one in the internal muscles, one in the subcutaneous tissue, and one in the skin. That worked fine for a couple of months, but despite all those stitches, it herniated, so I'll be going in for another surgery to insert a mesh to keep it from herniating again. It's been pretty miserable off and on, as you can imagine.

Hello Valeria. It's been a long time since they sewed things up back there, and I don't remember having a lot of issues. I do remember thinking that it had completely healed, only to be surprised after I went back to work. I was going about my day and felt very wet in the back. I went to the bathroom and found a lot of mucus in my pants. It only happened once, but that was one time more than I was expecting. It was a little unsettling at the time, but after talking with the doctor, I found it wasn't anything major to worry about. That being said, I would make sure to bring some extra clothes and supplies when you go back to work, just in case.

Hi JM_IN_MD

Thank you very much for the advice. I have been thinking of taking extra clothes and supplies to work already. Hopefully, I can spend a few more weeks at home; I just have to get the sick note from my GP. 🤞😇

I know it's a little off topic of pain with the Barbie butt. I have one. I have an ileostomy as well. I was wondering if anyone knows of a good cushion for hard seats so I can return to church after I get out of the hospital. Thank you.