This topic is about someone who recently had ostomy surgery, either an ileostomy or colostomy, and is navigating intimacy concerns just 12 days post-surgery. They spent their first night with their partner since the surgery and, despite their partner being supportive, they felt self-conscious and embarrassed about their pouch. Here are some helpful insights and advice for anyone in a similar situation:

1. It's completely normal to feel self-conscious after surgery. Give yourself time to heal both physically and emotionally.

2. Open communication with your partner is key. Share your fears and let them offer reassurance.

3. If you're worried about the pouch, consider covering it to boost your confidence:
- Wear a snug T-shirt, tube top, or something with an elastic waistband.
- There are specialty garments available, such as:
- Comfizz Level 1 Support Vest for men.
- Ostomy Secrets wraps for men.
- Stealth Belt support belts.

4. You might find it helpful to switch to smaller or closed-end pouches during intimate moments:
- A 2-piece system allows you to attach a short 6-inch closed pouch without changing the wafer.
- Hollister Corp. offers small-capacity bags designed for intimacy.

5. Remember that chronic pain, fatigue, or other post-surgical issues can impact your libido more than the appliance itself. Make sure to address any medical pain management needs.

6. There are useful resources available for reading about sex and stomas:
- American Cancer Society
- Clinimed
- Oakmed mental-health articles
- Oakmed sex/relationship articles

7. Keep in mind that your partner's acceptance is evident. Don't let feelings of shame create distance between you. Confidence will generally return as you adjust to life with a stoma.