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40,890 members
Jun 29, 2025

Partner Left After My Surgery, Feeling Alone and Overwhelmed

Topic Explanation:
The forum discussion revolves around an individual who recently underwent surgery and is dealing with the emotional aftermath of their partner leaving them during a vulnerable time. The original poster (OP) was a full-time carer for their partner, who had various disabilities, and they were planning to get married. However, after the surgery, the partner left without notice, leaving the OP to handle the cancellation of the wedding and other logistical issues alone. The OP reflects on the emotional abuse they endured and the realization that they had neglected their own needs. They express feelings of isolation, vulnerability, and the struggle to cope with their new reality, including financial difficulties and the challenges of living with a stoma.

Advice and Insights:
1. Seek Professional Counseling:
- Multiple replies suggest that the OP should seek professional counseling to help process their emotions and navigate their current situation.

2. Find Support and Community:
- The forum is a supportive place where the OP can find understanding and friendship. Engaging with others who have similar experiences can provide comfort and humor during tough times.

3. Focus on Self-Care and Health:
- It is important for the OP to prioritize their physical and mental health. Healing from surgery and managing the stoma should be a priority, and they should avoid lifting heavy objects to prevent further complications.

4. Rebuild Social Connections:
- Reaching out to old friends and building a new support system is encouraged. The OP should try to reconnect with those who were driven away by their ex-partner's behavior.

5. Embrace Independence:
- Some replies highlight the potential benefits of being alone, such as freedom and self-discovery. The OP is encouraged to take small steps towards independence and self-sufficiency.

6. Financial Stability:
- Focusing on self-employment and finding ways to increase income can help the OP regain independence and improve self-esteem.

7. Emotional Healing and Forgiveness:
- The OP is encouraged to forgive for their own peace of mind and to focus on their own needs and well-being. Recognizing the emotional abuse and moving forward is crucial for healing.

8. Positive Outlook and Gratitude:
- The OP is reminded of their strength and the life-saving aspect of their stoma. Embracing gratitude for their health and the new chapter in their life can be empowering.

9. Maintain Boundaries:
- While the OP considers maintaining a friendship with their ex, they are advised to prioritize their own well-being and
See full discusison
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