This topic is about coping with life changes after undergoing a urostomy and the surgical removal of the uterus and part of the vagina due to aggressive bladder cancer. The person is dealing with significant changes in body image, self-esteem, and their sense of womanhood. They are grateful for their supportive spouse but are also grieving these profound changes. Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others who have faced similar experiences:

1. Emotional support
- It's important to acknowledge your grief and allow yourself to express your feelings openly. Be gentle with yourself, as inner strength often comes from being honest about your emotions.
- Self-love is crucial. Valuing yourself is the first step towards building intimacy with others.

2. Redefining intimacy and sexuality
- Intimacy is not limited to penetrative vaginal sex. Explore other forms of touch, communication, and shared experiences with your partner.
- Creativity and flexibility can lead to satisfying sexual experiences, even after significant physical changes.

3. Give healing time
- Sensation and sexual response may return gradually. Some people have regained satisfying function months or even years after surgery.
- Be patient with yourself, as both physical and emotional recovery can take longer than expected.

4. Practical sexual aids
- Consider exploring adult-novelty shops or reputable online stores for vibrators or other devices. These can help compensate for lost sensation and encourage experimentation with your partner.
- Vaginal dilators, which may already be part of your treatment plan, can help maintain or restore the capacity for penetration.

5. Partner dynamics
- Appreciate supportive partners who remain engaged. Open communication about fears, desires, and alternative activities can strengthen your connection.
- Some people have lost partners who couldn't cope, highlighting the value of those who stay.

6. Community connection
- Engaging with the ostomy community can provide shared understanding and reduce feelings of isolation. Some suggest dating within the community to avoid stigma.
- Participating in forums can offer validation and support.

7. Perspective and positivity
- Remember that these surgeries saved your life. Many find empowerment in focusing on their newfound longevity.
- Volunteering, creative pursuits, and other meaningful activities can help rebuild your identity beyond sexuality.