This topic is about dealing with the emotional impact of rejection after disclosing a lifelong ileostomy to a romantic partner. The person sharing their story is a gay man who has lived with an ileostomy since he was 13 years old. At 45, he started dating someone with whom he felt a strong connection. However, after revealing his ileostomy five weeks into the relationship, his partner stopped all contact, leaving him feeling hurt and resentful. Despite having lived with a stoma for 32 years, he finds that rejection still hurts and self-acceptance is challenging.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Rejection often reflects more on the other person than on you. If someone cannot accept an ostomy, it's better to know early on. Think of it as their loss.

2. Many people do accept an ostomy. There are stories of long marriages and successful dating after surgery, so take comfort in these positive outcomes.

3. There is no perfect time to disclose an ostomy. Some choose to share early to avoid future hurt, while others wait until trust or intimacy has developed.

4. For practical intimacy tips:
- Consider wearing loose boxer shorts or pouch covers during intimate moments to conceal the appliance.
- Empty the pouch and avoid large meals beforehand to minimize output.

5. Try to view the ostomy as a "badge of survival" rather than a flaw. Everyone has imperfections, whether visible or hidden.

6. Consider dating within the ostomy community, such as through forums, local support groups, or profiles of gay ostomates. People in healthcare fields might also be more understanding of medical realities.

7. Social support is important. Joining stoma or LGBT support groups can help build friendships and confidence before pursuing romance.

8. Remember that without the surgery, you might not be alive today. Your self-worth should not depend on someone else's superficial reaction.