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41,468 members
Oct 03, 2013

Struggling with Family Acceptance and Colostomy Challenges

This topic is about someone who has been living with a colostomy for four years after having colon cancer. They are dealing with family rejection and a fear of odor, which has led to feelings of isolation and depression. Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Emotional & Social Support
- Surround yourself with people who care about you and distance yourself from anyone who is verbally abusive or disrespectful, even if they are family.
- Build your own support network by making friends through clubs, hobby groups, churches, local social circles, or online platforms like Meetup.com.
- Consider seeking professional counseling or joining a peer support group to help with depression and to rebuild your self-esteem.
- Remember that most people will not notice your pouch unless you tell them, so try not to let the fear of odor hold you back.

2. Ostomy-Specific Resources
- Find an in-person ostomy support group through the United Ostomy Associations of America directory. These groups can offer friendship, practical tips, and even rides to appointments.
- Consult a certified stoma nurse to learn about colostomy irrigation, which can help manage odor and output, making social events and travel easier.

3. Practical Living Tips
- Keep using deodorizing pouch drops, as they can be very effective. Consider trying different brands if needed.
- Carry an emergency change kit with you to ease anxiety about leaks or odor when you're out and about.
- Set boundaries with family and invite them to your home only if they can be respectful, just as you would expect from any guest.

4. Medical & Transportation Help
- For your upcoming colonoscopy, ask the new gastroenterologist’s office if they work with non-medical transport services or volunteer driver programs.
- Reach out to local senior centers, churches, ostomy groups, or the American Cancer Society’s Road To Recovery program for transportation assistance.
- Some ambulatory centers may allow you to use a paid medical escort service if you don’t have a friend or family member available to help.

5. Perspective & Encouragement
- Many people find that having a pouch has given them a new lease on life. Don’t let fear or stigma stop you from enjoying activities you love, like golf, swimming, or motorcycling.
- You deserve to be treated with dignity and kindness. If others don’t recognize your worth, make sure you do.
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