This topic is about a young gay man who has been dealing with illness since he was 16 and is now facing the possibility of needing an ostomy. He is deeply worried that this surgery will lead to a life of loneliness because he believes that the gay community places a high value on physical perfection. He fears that having an ostomy bag will make him unlovable.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. You are not alone – connect with others:
- Consider visiting GLO-UOAA for support specifically for gay and lesbian ostomates.
- Attend local Ostomy Association meetings or young-adult ostomy gatherings to discuss dating and body-image concerns with others who understand.

2. If you experience depression or have suicidal thoughts, seek professional help.

3. The right partners exist:
- Some people might not accept an ostomy, just as they might not accept other physical traits, but many people will look beyond that.
- An ostomy can help filter out those who are shallow, leaving you with people who appreciate you for who you are.

4. Self-acceptance is key:
- Becoming comfortable and matter-of-fact about your ostomy can boost your confidence, making dating easier.

5. Real-life proof you can still look great:
- There are inspiring stories of male models who proudly show their ostomy bags, like a bodybuilding model featured in Jezebel and a UK fitness model named Blake.

6. Personal success stories:
- Many members with ileostomies or colostomies are in relationships, married, raising children, or engaged. Their partners accept them regardless of sexual orientation.
- One member shared a story about her girlfriend who quickly bought new clothes after a bag leak at work, showing support and understanding.

7. Practical dating tips:
- Be honest about your situation when the time feels right; this can help reduce anxiety.
- Use humor to ease any tension, like joking about driving a Chrysler.

8. Perspective:
- Remember that the surgery is life-saving. While fear is natural, prioritizing your health can open the door to fulfilling relationships and activities.