This topic is about finding ways to comfortably use a strap-on harness for intimate play when one partner has a temporary ileostomy. The person seeking advice wants to ensure that the harness can be used without causing discomfort or self-consciousness due to the visibility of the pouch. Here are some helpful suggestions and insights:
1. Consider using ostomy wraps or garments:
- An OstomySecrets Wrap can look like lingerie, conceal the pouch, and has an extra pocket. Folding the empty, deflated pouch into the wrap can keep it flat across the stomach and out of the way.
- A tube top worn around the midsection can serve the same purpose.
- A body-hugging chemise can hold the bag against the body during intimate moments.
2. Explore belts and specialty garments:
- The Stealth Belt is a custom-sized support belt that can be worn under clothing, during workouts, and during intimate activities. It helps users feel more at ease with their ostomy.
- The Stomaplex Stoma Guard is a rigid guard that attaches to the pouch with Velcro. It can sit under the strap-on belt to protect the stoma and create a flat surface.
3. Try using smaller pouches:
- An intimacy pouch or infant pouch is very small and can be worn for a short period without needing to be emptied, reducing bulk under a harness.
4. Consider quick, low-cost fixes:
- Use a tiny binder clip to fold the pouch in half and secure it upward.
- Make sure all air is expelled from the pouch before folding or clipping.
5. Look into toy sourcing:
- PinkCherry, a Canadian website, is recommended for a wide selection of strap-ons and accessories at reasonable prices.
6. General tips for comfort and confidence:
- Experiment with different positions and equipment combinations until you find what’s comfortable.
- Reassure the partner with the ostomy that confidence grows with time. Approach the situation playfully and keep communication open.
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