This topic is about navigating intimacy with a new partner after living with a colostomy for nine years. The person sharing their story had managed intimacy and leakage issues during a long marriage with the support of their spouse. Now, after separating for unrelated reasons, they have reconnected with a former lover who is unaware of the stoma. They are seeking advice on how to disclose this information and handle intimacy in this new relationship.

Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others:

1. Disclose sooner rather than later:
- Many suggest telling potential partners after the first date or when physical affection seems likely. Being honest early on can prevent deeper emotional investment if the person isn’t comfortable with it.
- Present the ostomy confidently as a “badge of survival.” If someone is put off, they might not be the right partner for you.

2. Self-acceptance sets the tone:
- Being comfortable with yourself often makes others comfortable too. Adopting a “take me as I am” attitude can help; if you respect yourself, most people will follow your lead.
- Focus on overall self-esteem. Some people find they are more sensitive about other issues, like weight, than about the ostomy itself.

3. Practical disclosure tips:
- Bring up the topic casually during conversations about health or life experiences, then see how the other person reacts. Some will ask questions, while others may not.
- Frame it as a normal part of life that doesn’t interfere with daily activities or sexuality.

4. Positive real-life outcomes:
- Many have dated, married, or formed new relationships after getting an ostomy. Partners generally accept it once informed.
- One person shared that after meeting over 20 women through dating sites, those who were told about the stoma accepted it. If someone doesn’t, it’s best to move on.

5. Clothing and body-image pointers:
- Choose outfits like snug camisoles, lingerie, or support garments that secure the pouch and make you feel attractive. This can help ease initial intimacy.
- Confidence in your appearance often matters more than the appliance itself.

6. Emotional support and coping:
- Remember that everyone has imperfections, and mature partners recognize this.
- If anxiety or depression becomes overwhelming, consider professional counseling or joining local or online ostomy support groups for shared experiences and encouragement.