This topic is about supporting a new partner who might have an ostomy, without making him feel self-conscious. The person sharing this story has started a casual relationship with an old friend who has Crohn’s disease. During intimate moments, he kept his shirt on and seemed to be hiding something at his waist, which might be a colostomy or ileostomy appliance. She is open to the possibility but wants advice on how to avoid making him feel awkward, especially about touching his stomach. Since he hasn't mentioned an ostomy and might be trying to keep it private, she is hesitant to bring it up directly.

Here are some helpful suggestions:

1. A resource that might be useful is the Canadian Cancer Society booklet “Sexuality and Cancer” from 2016. You can find it online as a PDF.

2. Honesty is important, but it should be gentle:
- If you notice something like a support band, you could ask a casual question like, “Did you hurt your back?” This might encourage him to share if he’s ready. If not, just let it go.
- A light-hearted comment such as “Is there something between us right now?” can invite conversation without putting pressure on him.

3. Let him set the pace. Enjoy the relationship as it is and allow him to share when he feels comfortable. Avoid having a formal “we need to talk” moment, as it might feel too confrontational.

4. Treat him like any other partner during intimate moments. Show acceptance by touching him as you normally would, unless he indicates discomfort. This can help boost his confidence.

5. Everyone has different comfort levels with sharing personal information. If he eventually confirms having an ostomy, let him decide how much detail he wants to share.