This topic is about a long-time ostomate who feels uncomfortable with the vulgar language they encounter in online ostomy forums. They expected these communities to be supportive and kind, but instead, they often find the conversations to be inappropriate, which makes them hesitant to openly identify as an ostomate.

Here are some helpful insights and advice on this matter:

1. Vulgar posts are not the norm; most forum members are supportive and helpful. Use the forum's tools to ignore or skip threads that don't appeal to you, and focus on the positive discussions.

2. Online communities reflect the diversity of society. Just like in any other interest group, you'll find a mix of personalities and language styles.

3. In groups dealing with serious topics like illness, humor, even if dark, can be a way to cope. What might seem inappropriate to some can be a way for others to handle tough situations.

4. Personal sensitivity can influence how we perceive language. What one person finds offensive, another might see as harmless or even comforting honesty.

5. If you find certain content offensive, it's okay to leave that thread or even the site, just like you would stop watching a movie you don't enjoy.

6. Try not to judge others based on their language. Society's language norms have changed, and using colorful language doesn't necessarily reflect a person's character.

7. If you're still concerned about the language, consider suggesting stronger moderation to filter out inappropriate comments, while keeping in mind that most interactions are respectful.

8. Remember the main goal of these forums: to provide mutual support, share experiences, and offer practical help. Focus on contributing positively and recognize that many members are grateful for their ostomies, as they have been life-saving.