This topic is about a 35-year-old woman who recently lost her husband and is now considering dating again after having ileostomy surgery. She feels nervous about how potential partners might react to her stoma and is seeking advice on when to disclose her ostomy and what dating might be like with it.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Confidence is key. Your comfort with your ileostomy can influence how others perceive it. Embrace it as a "badge of survival," and others are more likely to accept it too.

2. Timing of disclosure:
- A common approach is to mention your ostomy when you feel the relationship might become intimate, rather than during early casual conversations.
- Alternatively, some people choose to bring it up early, even during the first meeting, using humor. Many have found that this approach doesn't lead to rejection.
- Be prepared for the possibility that some people might walk away, but see this as a way to quickly identify who is not the right match for you.

3. Presentation tips include using a skin-tone stoma cover that keeps the pouch flat under clothing for a sleeker look and added security.

4. Use humor and lightness. Making a casual joke about your surgery, like saying "I don’t poop like everyone else anymore," can help ease tension and show confidence.

5. Keep perspective. Everyone faces nerves, body-image worries, and possible rejection when dating. The stoma is just another difference, like a scar or a missing finger.

6. Take it slow. If you're feeling nervous, allow the relationship to develop gradually so you feel ready before sharing personal details or becoming intimate.

7. Reframe rejection. If someone can't handle your ostomy, they might also struggle with other challenges. It's better to move on than to take it personally.

8. Remember, many people live full dating and sexual lives with ostomies. You made a choice for life, and you deserve to enjoy it.