This topic is about navigating intimacy and dating when living with Crohn’s disease and an ileostomy. A man in this situation is seeking advice on how to manage relationships and physical closeness while wearing an ostomy pouch. Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others who have been in similar situations:

1. Regaining a full sex life is possible. Many couples find they can return to normal intimacy by experimenting with different positions and clothing options. Some prefer to wear nothing, while others feel more comfortable with a covering like a slinky night-shirt or specialized garments.

2. There are products that can help during intimate moments. OstomySecrets offers underwear, wraps, and pouch-covering apparel for both men and women that keep the appliance flat and out of the way. Loose clothing can also help conceal the pouch comfortably.

3. Practical tips before engaging in sexual activity include changing or emptying the pouch beforehand to prevent leaks, bulging, or odor.

4. Deciding when and how to disclose your ostomy is important. Plan in advance how you’ll bring it up to avoid feeling cornered. Many choose to share this information once the relationship feels meaningful and the possibility of intimacy arises, which could be after a week, a month, or longer. Keep the initial explanation short and simple, and invite questions rather than providing medical details.

5. Your mindset matters more than the bag. Mental barriers are often greater than physical ones. If you act embarrassed, your partner may feel awkward; if you’re relaxed and confident, they usually are too.

6. Acceptance and rejection are part of the process. Several people have shared their experiences of telling partners early and being accepted, with some still happily dating. If someone walks away because of the ostomy, they weren’t the right match—move on.

7. Dating fellow ostomates is an option. Support groups, forums, and ostomy events can introduce you to people who already understand the surgery.

8. Remember the bigger picture. An ostomy is a life-saving surgery, not a reason for stigma. What truly counts is the person you are inside, not the appliance you wear.