This topic is about a woman's journey to accepting intimacy and body image after receiving a permanent colostomy. She shares her experiences and offers advice to help others in similar situations.

- Initially, she felt anxious about how a visible pouch might impact her sexual relationships.
- She received valuable advice from another ostomate: partners often reflect your own attitude toward the ostomy.
- Her emotional recovery involved mourning the loss of her previous body image and transforming from feeling like a "helpless victim" to becoming an "empowered woman."
- At first, she would reveal her ostomy immediately, which she found prevented men from seeing her as a whole person.
- She developed a healthier approach:
1. Date long enough to determine if a man is kind, respectful, and interested in a relationship.
2. End things with "unworthy" men before mentioning the ostomy.
3. With "good guys," explain the surgery privately and calmly, well before any sexual activity, and not right before intimacy.
4. Provide a simple, non-graphic explanation, using the word "bag" to avoid confusion.
5. Reassure them that it doesn’t hurt and won’t interfere with intimacy.
- She controls the setting for first intimacy with candlelight, attractive pouch covers, crotch-snap lingerie, or elegant My Heart Ties pouch covers.
- Ongoing therapy helped her achieve acceptance, and she is now a licensed mental-health counselor specializing in chronic illness and ostomies.
- She encourages other women to trust themselves, seek help if needed, and believe they can find peace and joy.

Advice and insights from the community:

- Dating confidence:
1. Many members confirm that despite some shallow individuals, many partners are accepting of an ileostomy/colostomy. "There is someone for everyone—don’t give up."
2. If someone rejects you because of the ostomy, they are not worth your time.

- Body-image reassurance:
1. Women without ostomies also struggle with body image; the real issue is societal pressure, not the pouch itself.
2. Living pain-free after surgery can enhance your sense of sexuality and attractiveness. Partners often respond positively to your improved energy and confidence.

- Sharing resources:
1. The article is shared through the United Ostomy Associations of America and suggested for ostomy nurses to distribute to patients.
2. Mentioning attractive pouch covers like "My Heart Ties" shows practical ways to feel feminine during intimacy.

- Encouragement for newcomers:
1. Newly single or recently divorced ostomates express fear of disclosure. Community members emphasize gradual self-acceptance, choosing the right moment to talk, and focusing on the quality of the partner rather than the appliance itself.