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Nov 18, 2018

How has being an ostomate affected your social life?

Living with an ileostomy or colostomy can bring about changes in social life, and it's natural to have questions about how to navigate these changes. A woman, whose boyfriend has an ileostomy, is curious about how this affects his social interactions and how she can support him better. Here are some insights and advice from others who have been in similar situations:

- **Understanding the Stoma Type and Management**: Knowing whether it's an ileostomy or colostomy can help in managing social situations. For instance, colostomy users who irrigate may have less output during social hours, while those with ileostomies might need more planning.

- **Building Confidence**: Many people with ileostomies choose not to let it limit their activities. They eat, drink, and engage in hobbies as they wish. Encouragement without pressure is key; it's important not to push someone to stay longer than they're comfortable.

- **Practical Routines**: Discreetly checking the pouch and emptying it before events can help manage any concerns. Some people keep a small "go-bag" with essentials in the car, while others only bring extras if staying overnight.

- **Food and Timing**: While most eat normally, some with ileostomies avoid raw foods, high-fiber items, or carbonation before events. One person noted their appliance is inactive during the day, allowing them to socialize without worry.

- **Managing Odor and Noise**: Using filters, deodorant drops, or pouch vents can help with odor. Stoma noises are often similar to stomach rumbling, and humor can ease any embarrassment.

- **Bathroom Logistics**: For those concerned about single-bathroom venues, checking facilities in advance or politely declining can be helpful. Flushing during or after emptying and using deodorant can manage odor concerns.

- **Energy and Fatigue**: It's common to leave events a bit earlier. Having a planned exit signal or phrase can make leaving gracefully easier.

- **Social Preferences**: Some people feel more at ease in smaller groups or quieter settings, as large crowds and noise can add stress.

- **Gradual Exposure**: Starting with short, low-risk outings and gradually moving to longer events can build confidence. Success in smaller settings can lead to more ambitious social activities.

- **Perspective and Humor**: Many emphasize the importance of attitude, viewing the ostomy as life-saving and focusing on living fully. A supportive partner who treats the pouch as no big deal and can share a laugh is invaluable.
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