Intimacy Issues with an Ileostomy Bag During Sex

Help!  Nothing I have tried to “contain” my ileostomy bag during sex has worked. No wraps, no tight tops, nothing. I don’t want to think about the bag nor have it in plain sight at that time. Any suggestions appreciated. Thanks!

Stop having sex with your bag. 😂

Alright, an hour later, enough "breaking the ice".

Your feelings are quite honest, human, and normal.

But all I'm seeing is "I" "I".

Again, understandable, but what does your partner say?

We ileos (and osties) are our own worst enemy.

There are creative ways to get over this little speed bump.

Others will suggest—as you have tried—to cover it up; others are saying spice it up with positions.

You really need to stop thinking "I" and exchange it for "we"; get your partner involved. Both do a little research. Who knows, you might end up 50 shades of gray. Dig?

Greetings Kimy

Okay - to be completely honest - I am a prude...

While I initially felt extremely unsexy with the bag, I too struggled with this issue. However, my husband came up with his own solution for me. It's rather simple. Just some knickers that have the crotch cut out. My bag doesn't get in the way. Experimenting with positions helped a lot. Plus, there is information that can help (well, it helped me) that you can find on the internet.

Intimacy was initially a HUGE problem for me, as I felt extremely unattractive. And my husband was at first more comfortable with my having a bag than I was!!

I hope this is a little helpful???

Gracie

As Gracie mentioned, try different positions.

Must be one wild ride. 🤭

How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

🤣😂🤣

As I said once before Go Doggy, that way you can both watch TV.

Oh behave! IGGIE!😃

A/C D/C's 👍 "Shook Me All Night Long" plays... 🎶

Have you tried a bag cover? Not a wrap, but a bag cover. Look it up on amazon. They have loads. In all different colors and designs. Search ostomy bag cover and you will find a  wide variety of bag covers. 

WOOF

FYI—my partner and I have discussed aspects of ileostomy. I am not new to relationships. I was not asking for him but for me!

FYI—my partner and I have discussed aspects of ileostomy. I am not new to relationships. I was not asking for him but for me!

😀😆

Too old for acrobatics! But I'm not dead! Lol

I get that now. Like I mentioned, we are our worst enemy.

You are the one with the issue, not your partner. It's good you are getting "it," that intimacy.

Some couples don't even get that far.

Have you tried wearing one of those sleep masks? I mean, if the sight of the bag is that disgusting, go blind to it.

Ear plugs would help eliminate the bag sounds, and an added bonus... mixed blessing... if your partner yacks a bit. 🗣🤣

LOL!!! Kinda like “I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.”

I have rarely had sex  with my partner since getting my colostomy.  I found that for me, not being able to be spontaneous when the mood struck was a real drag.  There are other ways to experience intimacy without having sex.  I am grateful that as an older guy, the hormones have settled down.  It’s not easy to feel sexy with a bag hanging down your abdomen.

You're too funny! 😂

I am male and simply use a female tube top. I wear it over my belly. Make sure your bag is empty before sex, but it hides everything in the middle, and everything down below is still exposed. It's very elastic and comfortable.

Don't worry about it. At least you're having sex. Be thankful.

🔒 Login to see image

Have you tried the Stealth Belt Ostomy Bag Cover? Just Google it; they are on Amazon.

🔒 Login to see image

Have you tried the Stealth Belt Ostomy Bag Cover? Just Google it; they are on Amazon.

🔒 Login to see image

Have you tried the Stealth Belt Ostomy Bag Cover? Just Google it; they are on Amazon.

Ditto!!👍

I got some ostomy caps or covers, so before jumping into bed I would change my bag for one of these. They are small, don’t hold much, but are sufficient for a while. It meant we couldn’t have spontaneous sex, but with just 5 minutes notice I could be ready!  The system I used had a flange that stuck to my belly, and bags which clipped onto to it, like Tupperware lids, so changing from bag to cap was really quick and easy. Almost flat when in place, and very inconspicuous. Enjoy!

And you're in England? Damn! 😳 Yes, those caps fit only certain manufacturers. Had trouble with Mio Click. Ask me how I know.

Great idea though. Cap that alien spud. Get on with business.

Hi Kim,

I wear a spandex camisole. It does the job beautifully. 

Those caps work in the shower. Stuff a piece of TP inside. It will not stay in place during sex. Paging Dr. Poop?

Try Stealth or SIIL belts. I wear them all day long. They stay in place through any movements. I rock climb in them.

Stealth belt! I tried many devices and love it. It will not allow your stoma to get bounced around. Comes in many colors, patterns, and styles. About $120? Add their Stoma Dome and play soccer. SIIL belts look good, too. A bit cheaper. All I can find are colostomy photos, sorry.

There is a locking clip on the one I saw. How could it not stay in place? U having wild monkey 🐒  sex? The beast trying to rip it off you?   No.. this one was tight. Solid. No animals were used  or harmed in this explanation.