I want out. I'm so tired. I want out.
Tatdude
May 08, 2025 12:01 am
eefyjig
May 08, 2025 12:01 pm
Tatdude, have you been feeling this way for two years? Maybe you've taken baby steps forward and then some going back. No one should tell you that you should be happy; that's just presumptuous and rude. By the way, are they saying "grateful" or "happy?" You're only hurting yourself by staying stuck on what you think you're hearing, what you think you should be feeling, and what you lost. Grieving is normal, but when it starts to take over or lasts a really long time, it might be time to talk to a professional who can help you move past where you are now.
MeetAnOstoMate is a remarkable community of 41,453 members.
“Every morning with my coffee, I read here and feel wrapped in warmth - I hardly post, but it still feels like family.”
“Our oncologist literally wrote down the link; they said more patients need this website.”
“This place pulled me out of the dark. I went from lurking to living again.”
“At 3am, someone’s awake somewhere in the world. I’m never alone here.”
Immarsh
Hi All, If you have an " old" or recent ostomy, this is the place for you. I think I've been a member for more than 15 years, but I have had my surgery, since I was a kid of 15 ( do the math-that's more than 60 years ago). As a teen, with a new ostomy ( for Ulcerative colitis) my parents dragged me off to my first ostomy association meeting. I wasn't happy, but in the long run, it's the best thing that happened to me. I met others, older, and teens like me, adjusting to the changes. A group of us started a Young adult group, and helped each other, and even visited kids who were new to the world of ostomies. But soon I married, and moved out of state, and although made some connections with other NJ ostomates, I became pretty much isolated. Until I discovered MaO. By then, I was having a myriad of other medical issues, and my aging stoma " wasn't doing well". I received a lot of help and support from members! I was pleased that I was also back to supporting others. I met a gal on line (from Papua New Guinea) who was trying to help ostomates in her country. There is a scarcity of supplies in some other countries, and unlike the US, insurance to pay for supplies isn't available. When my son followed his "love" twenty years ago, and moved to Australia I took advantage of an opportunity to help other ostomates. On one of my first visits to Oz, I brought a suitcase full of Ostomy supplies, handed them off to an Ostomy assoc. On the Gold Coast, who then had a friend take them to PNG. They were grateful for the help, and Janet and I still write.. This is the place to be, if you need help, and it also gives you the opportunity to provide help and support to others. Feel free to write, if you'd like to chat, about things ostomy, or life in general. Best REgards to all.. Marsha
Nightrose
May 08, 2025 5:16 pm
Hi Tatdude, I agree with eefyjig; I think you need support by talking to someone.
It is a lot to deal with and a mental strain.
When I realize I'm going to have to live with this attachment for the rest of my days, it brings me up short sometimes.
All I can say is one day at a time and be kind to yourself 🫂
Advertisement
Hollister
Skin barrier extenders are ostomy accessories that can help your skin barrier fit better and last longer.
Learn all about skin barrier extenders.
Learn all about skin barrier extenders.
Nightrose
May 08, 2025 6:47 pm
Is there anyone you can talk to face to face? I know it's hard because non-ostomates don't understand. Is there a support group locally, maybe?
I have bad days and good days. Do you always feel low, or do you feel okay sometimes?
Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
eefyjig
May 08, 2025 7:07 pm
Five years is a long time to be in the rut you're in. What things have you done to improve your situation? If depression is making it hard for you to make a move, ask someone you trust to do it for you. Nothing is assured in life, but one thing is certain: if you do nothing, nothing will change.
Tatdude
May 08, 2025 10:13 pm
I've tried, or at least I think I've tried. It's very difficult to find somebody who wants to deal with being in a relationship with somebody with a bag. Maybe I set my sights too high. And once you get into a rut, it's hard to get out of it. My depression is real, and so are my suicidal tendencies. I guess eventually one will win.