This topic is about the emotional and relationship challenges that can arise after undergoing ostomy surgery. The person who started the discussion is dealing with feelings of depression and struggles in romantic relationships, questioning whether the surgery was worth it despite being grateful for their life.
Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others:
1. Self-acceptance & Identity
- Remember, your ostomy does not define who you are. Embrace and love yourself first.
- Consider naming your stoma or using positive self-talk to shift your inner dialogue to a more positive one.
2. Relationships & Dating
- If someone leaves because of your ostomy, it might mean the relationship wasn't deep enough. It's important to maintain high standards for yourself.
- Keep trying and develop resilience to rejection, or focus on creating a fulfilling life on your own—both choices are valid.
- Try meeting potential partners in more supportive environments, like ostomy forums, rather than places that might feel superficial.
- Many people find partners after having an ostomy, as maturity often brings greater acceptance of medical issues.
3. Depression Management
- Experiencing depression after surgery is common and can last from months to years, but it often gets better with time and treatment.
- Seek professional help, such as therapy, psychiatric evaluation, and medication if needed.
- Join support groups, either locally or online, to connect with others who understand what you're going through.
- Reach out for help if you have suicidal thoughts; you don't have to face them alone.
4. Coping Strategies & Perspective
- Focus on the health benefits you've regained, like being able to work, travel, or enjoy activities without urgency.
- Practice gratitude for small positives each day and find beauty or humor in everyday life.
- Engage in hobbies, social activities, and volunteer work to boost your confidence and expand your social network.
- Some find comfort in spiritual or faith practices, prayer, calming music, and mindfulness.
5. Practical Tips
- Allow yourself to vent in safe spaces; sometimes you need listeners more than problem-solvers.
- Accept that bad days will happen without judging yourself; healing is often not a straight path.
- Remember that others have overcome similar challenges, and their experiences show that improvement is possible.
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