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Ostomy Memories Titters Derisively

 
This is the best website for people with an Ostomy. So much understanding.

It has recently come to my attention, on this very website, that some of you – people that I previously assumed were reasonable, serious people – have actually assigned human names to your stomas. Really?? You have named your stoma?? I’ve had this ileostomy since effin 1964, and it has never occurred to me to do such a thing. I must say, with all due respect, that I find this to be perhaps the grossest, most flagrant act of anthropomorphistic nonsense ever. I’m assuming that these are the same ones of you that, upon awakening, say “Good morning, Larry” to your big toe. And you men, do you call your penis Harry Houdini for his post-coital disappearing act? [That, of course, would require you to have actual post-coital experiences.] And ladies, when is the last time that you referred to your breasts as ZsaZsa and Eva? Or Nadine and Maybellene (R.I.P. Chuck Berry). I suppose I must admit that I have a cat named Bart (as opposed to Fluffy or Blackie or some other obviously feline moniker), but in my own defense I must say that Bart is short for his full name, BartholoMEW. Perhaps attributing human characteristics to non-human objects [you’re going to argue that your stoma is human, but I don’t buy that] is an age-old method of coming to grips with the inhumanity of contemporary reality. I’m willing to guess that there were no 19th Century ostomy surgeries. It is true, as well, that aside from the positive wonders of 21st Century technology [we are on the Internet, after all], it can be severely dehumanizing. Just for kicks, here’s the final paragraph of George Orwell’s 1984: “He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark mustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-soaked tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.”

 

You have stirred the pot but I generally agree with you. I read somewhere that naming your stoma was a good thing, helped with acceptance. I did not buy into that. I have a stoma with no-name.

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xnine wrote:

You have stirred the pot but I generally agree with you. I read somewhere that naming your stoma was a good thing, helped with acceptance. I did not buy into that. I have a stoma with no-name.


Hopefully, no one had their sense of humor removed along with their colon... 


 

Henry, I have been known to refer to my breasts as "the girls", but I haven't gone so far as to give them names. But your point is well taken. I did, as I said in another post, name my stoma right after surgery, although I haven't used the name in a long time. I wonder if it was a way of coping with this new "thing " that seemed to have a life of its own? It was a demanding, noisy, ill mannered child in the early days, and I certainly had difficulty claiming the thing as my own. I would never behave so badly, and was constantly embarrassed by its attention seeking behaviour. Time has passed. We have fashioned a sort of truce. I have come to better understand the thing, and its needs, and it interrupts my life less frequently than it did. I have, begrudgingly, come to admit that the "thing " is actually a part of me, so no need for a separate name for it now. Interesting and thought provoking post, Henry, as always. 

Laurie


 

By the way, I have heard that Napoleon had an ostomy, but I haven't fact checked it. What on earth would he have used for an appliance?

Laurie

 
Padfoot wrote:

By the way, I have heard that Napoleon had an ostomy, but I haven't fact checked it. What on earth would he have used for an appliance?

Laurie


Really?  I'll guess some kind of small animal hide, held on with a makeshift belt.  That would give a whole new meaning to Waterloo...   

 
Padfoot wrote:

Henry, I have been known to refer to my breasts as "the girls", but I haven't gone so far as to give them names. But your point is well taken. I did, as I said in another post, name my stoma right after surgery, although I haven't used the name in a long time. I wonder if it was a way of coping with this new "thing " that seemed to have a life of its own? It was a demanding, noisy, ill mannered child in the early days, and I certainly had difficulty claiming the thing as my own. I would never behave so badly, and was constantly embarrassed by its attention seeking behaviour. Time has passed. We have fashioned a sort of truce. I have come to better understand the thing, and its needs, and it interrupts my life less frequently than it did. I have, begrudgingly, come to admit that the "thing " is actually a part of me, so no need for a separate name for it now. Interesting and thought provoking post, Henry, as always. 

Laurie

Yes, mine too calmed down dramatically over the years, adopting a sort of live-and-let-live attitude.  We all come eventually to an understanding with our personal antagonists, eh?  


 
HenryM wrote:


Really?  I'll guess some kind of small animal hide, held on with a makeshift belt.  That would give a whole new meaning to Waterloo...   

😂😂😂😂😂

 

I would say to each his or her own why should it matter to anyone else if someome one choises to name it. I have not named mine but if I did what difference should it make to anyone else?

 
lovely wrote:

I would say to each his or her own why should it matter to anyone else if someome one choises to name it. I have not named mine but if I did what difference should it make to anyone else?


Of course it makes no difference, Lovely.  I'm just trying to have a little fun with it, my dear. 

 
Padfoot wrote:

By the way, I have heard that Napoleon had an ostomy, but I haven't fact checked it. What on earth would he have used for an appliance?

Laurie


The quick research I did re Napoleon indicates he had horrendously incompetent medical care, but no ostomy.  Anyone interested in researching the history of ostomy surgery can check out the following website:  https://www.nursingcenter.com/journalarticle?Article_ID=767816 

 



Last edited by lovely on Mon Sep 14, 2020 6:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
 

Hi Henry, You are up to your usual funny and cheeky self today but you do make some astute observations.  I thought it seemed silly and strange to name your stoma until one lady related how it came in handy when out in public with friends and you needed to excuse yourself suddenly to be able to say to them "Suzy is acting up and I need to go deal with her".  Anyone overhearing the conversation wouldn't give it a second thought, makes sense.  I have not been tempted to name mine, mainly because I've already had two different ones and am about to have a third.  It would be a bit tiring to have to come up with names for them all and I feel like I'm just 'renting' for now anyway.  Maybe once I get the one and only one I'm going to stick with I will change my mind, we'll see...

Regards,

Terry

 
lovely wrote:

Sorry not trying to start an arugement. Just seems like you saying" that I find this to be perhaps the Grossest, most flagrant act of anthropomorphistic nonsense ever" seemed to be putting people down. Maybe I was wrong.


Sorry, Lovely, but I thought the humor was obvious.  

 
delgrl525 wrote:

Hi Henry, You are up to your usual funny and cheeky self today but you do make some astute observations.  I thought it seemed silly and strange to name your stoma until one lady related how it came in handy when out in public with friends and you needed to excuse yourself suddenly to be able to say to them "Suzy is acting up and I need to go deal with her".  Anyone overhearing the conversation wouldn't give it a second thought, makes sense.  I have not been tempted to name mine, mainly because I've already had two different ones and am about to have a third.  It would be a bit tiring to have to come up with names for them all and I feel like I'm just 'renting' for now anyway.  Maybe once I get the one and only one I'm going to stick with I will change my mind, we'll see...

Regards,

Terry


You sound like Liz Taylor going through husbands, Terry.  Hang in there.  


 
lovely wrote:

Sorry not trying to start an arugement. Just seems like you saying" that I find this to be perhaps the Grossest, most flagrant act of anthropomorphistic nonsense ever" seemed to be putting people down. Maybe I was wrong.

Don't worry, Lovely. Henry is just trying to get us to laugh at ourselves a bit. When you stop and think about it, it is kind of odd that we would name only one part of our bodies - I just never really thought about it before. But now he has me considering naming the girls. Now let me see......Dolly? Jayne? Sophia? Tough choice! 


Laurie

 

Hi Henry.  I’m trying to reply sensibly to your post but it’s gonna take some time finding the definition of the word, “anthropomorphistic”. I didn’t name my stoma because it’s the only one I have and , if I refer to it , I call it “my F’n stoma”. It knows who it is.
The rest of your post is hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.
Mike

 
HenryM wrote:


The quick research I did re Napoleon indicates he had horrendously incompetent medical care, but no ostomy.  Anyone interested in researching the history of ostomy surgery can check out the following website:  https://www.nursingcenter.com/journalarticle?Article_ID=767816 

Thanks Henry for providing the article on the history of the colonoscopy. I have been looking for an article like this. My father is going to be 91 in October and has had his iliostomy for 70 years. Reading that article he would have been one if the first using the method that was developed in the 1950's. He had hid done in 1951 I believe. It gave him a wonderful life in Rhodesia and for the last 15 years in New Zealand. 


 
Padfoot wrote:

😂😂😂😂😂
 Yes , Napoleon had an ostomy and used goat bladder as a bag.




 
Padfoot wrote:

😂😂😂😂😂
 Yes , Napoleon had an ostomy and used goat bladder as a bag.



 

Many people do name their stomas. I'm on a Facebook ladies' support group and many ladies do have names for theirs. I totally think it's helping in the acceptance of this new thing into our lives, which indeed seems to have a mind of it's own at times. 

 

I have to agree   My stoma is my stoma  just another part of me   All my other parts go nameless as well   I’m not ashame of it nor do I  flaunt it   Only my close family even know about it    

Thats just me   

xnine wrote:

You have stirred the pot but I generally agree with you. I read somewhere that naming your stoma was a good thing, helped with acceptance. I did not buy into that. I have a stoma with no-name.



 
Ella-1 wrote:



Dwight Eisenhower, Fred Astaire, had ostomies and it has been long rumoured that The Queen Mother had a colostomy as a result of being diagnosed with colon cancer in 1967.


 
HenryM wrote:


Hopefully, no one had their sense of humor removed along with their colon... 


Actually, Henry the naming of the "Rose Bud" has always driven me up the wall. Many people in the ostomy group I used to belong to would use names and it would really make me shutter.  Do none ostomates name their asshole, I think not.  I've had my ostomy since 1978 and have learned to deal with it not talk to it or buy it a beer. Just my 2 cents.

 
Bigboredave wrote:


Actually, Henry the naming of the "Rose Bud" has always driven me up the wall. Many people in the ostomy group I used to belong to would use names and it would really make me shutter.  Do none ostomates name their asshole, I think not.  I've had my ostomy since 1978 and have learned to deal with it not talk to it or buy it a beer. Just my 2 cents.

I couldn't agree more, Dave.  

 

Hi to Henry and all our other " ostomate" friends,   

When I first joined thiis site,   I was really surprised that so many people named their stoma..     Like Henry, I've had mine for over 50+ years, and wh ile I've muttered under my breath,   calling  it " it", and YOu, and ocassionally,   you " stuupic Ass"  ( I love that one),  I never did bless  it with a name.   In the Jewish community,   we have a naming ceremony,  when a baby is born,  or the " kid" is named at his " Bris".  That wouldn't be appropriate.    I met a young girl ( my age) who was having her ostomy done in Pa, while I was in Ny and she  named him " George"...   One of our mates calls  herself,  Rosie's mom...   That's apt, considering how many times she will change " her" in her lifetime...   Lady Hope, named  hers " Stanly"..I'm truly sorry I never oficially " named my stoma".   We even give our pets appropriate names, and  we spend a lot of time and " loving"  attention on  our " Belly Butt"...    I appropriated that name from someone else..   Sorry Henry,.....   I thinnk naming our stoma,   g ives it/ and us an identity, and personifies it a an official, if new part of us..    Many of us ladies, refer to our breasts, as " our girls".    I know mine like to breathe free, after a long day of being packaged up..     And others even give " cuute  names to our respective Vagina's   VJJ   thanks to Opra, or other more inventive ones  like  " Who  Ha",   or K'diddle...     If we can name or poke fun, at something so life changing as a piece of intestine on our belly,   then we are reducing it to a manageable , personified part of ourselves...    I can't believe that many of you guys never gave a name to you " protruding part".   It would be so nice of you to share.....despsite Henry's somewhat cynical reaction.    It's the lighter side of life...   Best regards all,   and to my Jewish "Mates"......have a very Happy and Healthy New Year....L'Shanah Tovah..    Marsha..

 

Interesting topic.  Before I had my surgery, I heard about people naming their ostomies and I thought up some names for mine.  Then I had the surgery and thought this entity was evil and cruel even though it saved my life.  No names were given. But I can see where people would want to give a name - it does seem to have a mind of its own sometimes!  Over time, I have accepted that it is a part of me and I view it as an organic prosthesis.  That, more than anything, helped me accept it as part of me, like any other body part, and no names are required other than what it is: ostomy.



Last edited by Ali Canada on Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
 
Ali Canada wrote:

Interesting topic.  Before I had my surgery, I heard about naming people naming their ostomies and I thought up some names for mine.  Then I had the surgery and thought this entity was evil and cruel even though it saved my life.  No names were given. But I can see where people would want to give a name - it does seem to have a mind of its own sometimes!  Over time, I have accepted that it is a part of me and I view it as an organic prosthesis.  That, more than anything, helped me accept it as part of me, like any other body part, and no names are required other than what it is: ostomy.


How apt:  an organic prosthesis.  Thanks for your comment.

 

If we have 78 organs and 12 other body parts it can become quite difficult to name them appropriately. Just the teeth alone, all 32 can be considered one part. As a Roman Catholic we’re supposed to use only Christian names so a tooth named “Bucky” or “Fang” wouldn’t be acceptable. Maybe, with an appropriate donation, we could get a dispensation to use nicknames. I’m wondering how our things got names to begin with. Were the scientists Christians? Probably not. I never heard of a Saint Lung or Saint Spleen. There must’ve been some arguing when it got to parts like kids’ knees versus kidneys. A liver? It takes all the parts to make us a liver. Otherwise we would be die-ers or just dead.
I never expected to be involved with this activity but it’s another way of not thinking about my F’n stoma.
Respectfully,
Mike

 
HenryM wrote:


Hopefully, no one had their sense of humor removed along with their colon... 


I had my stoma surgery while still a teenager, 33 yrs ago. At that time,  I was given a book that suggested naming could help with acceptance. For me, a "normal" name didn't seem to fit. I couldn;t imagine George, Lucy or Silvia etc.  After a few months, I named my stoma Lancelot. He ( don't ask why my intestines are male when I am female- it fit my narrative) was my knight who saved my from the evil clutches of ulcerative colitis. I was a teenager with a flair for the dramatic. Naming allows some folks to talk openly where they otherwise wouldn't i.e "Lucy was being a bugger yesterday". For some folks it could help with acceptance. I can also see how for some, it might have the opposite effect and create a disconnect. Mind you, haven't we all had occasions where we wished we could leave "George" at home?

Now, I was 100% all in and ready for my surgery, zero adjustment peiod. After years of suffering with UC, I initiated the suregry discussion. As soon as I  could mange my supplies on my own with the stoma nurse hanging around. I was fine Two years after my original surgery, I also initiated the "let's make this permanent", much to the dismay of my GI guy. I know Lancelot is part of me..very much so, and I accept him fully.

I have met folks who name, and folks who don't, and I say as long as it doesn;t create that unhealthy disconnect. Have fun with it!  :) You do you as they say!

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