Hope you're having a lovely Sunday thus far!
I'm wondering for all the folks out there that are having the unfortunate experience of living permanently with a stoma (whether ileostomy or colostomy) and getting back out there dating-wise -- how do you do it? I had a brief attempt myself once since having an ostomy (mine is permanent too) and it didn't go great for a number of reasons, one of them being my shame/anxiety about having a stoma, and somehow, he didn't realize it, which was odd because although it's not a bag like most (I have a stoma cap as I'm able to irrigate every day), it's still kind of obvious to feel a piece of plastic there so I guess my real question is, how do you go about dating when you're sober?
I'm trying to bring some levity into this rambling post but it is a very serious question. Realistically, I know there are people out there that will be grossed out, and I'm wondering when the ideal time to tell someone about it is (somewhere between Hi, my name is... and let's get it on, which can be a lot of in between...) Maybe the argument is, if they're that superficial, you're better off without them, but taking myself as an example, I don't want to deal with it as a pseudo clean freak, so why would someone else volunteer to? Maybe getting to know them for a good while and THEN telling them is the way to go, so they have some reason to be invested before they find out about this new and gross reality? Then again, I suppose it's like telling a potential partner any sensitive/awkward situation when you're getting to know someone, such as in the case of an STD, or "here's the thing, my parents live with me/I live with my parents..."
Would be really interested to hear anyone's thoughts on this, especially younger folks like me in their twenties and thirties. (I think it's a different situation when you're already in a relationship/marriage, and the person knew you before your intestine made an everyday appearance.)