WE’VE ALL HAD RELATIONSHIPS WITH SURGEONS. Some of us have less positive memories of them than others. I don’t even remember the name of the surgeon who performed my original ileostomy back in 1964. But I feel safe in saying that I’ve outlived him, which is saying something about his skills, in a manner of speaking. When I was forced to have the surgery re-done in 2011, the surgeon was good enough to permit me to mark the spot with an X where I wanted the new stoma, which was slightly lower on my belly than the original one. He and I got into conversation the night prior to the surgery, and he boasted that surgeons were the top of the food chain in the medical profession. I assured him that trial lawyers felt the same way about their brethren. Anyway, all this came back to me yesterday when I encountered the following joke:
Four surgeons were chatting at the end of the day. The first said that he preferred operating upon librarians because, when you opened them up, everything was in alphabetical order. The second said his preference was accountants because, when you opened them up, everything was orderly and numerical. The third surgeon claimed his favorite patient was an electrician since, when you opened them up, everything was color-coded. The fourth surgeon said his favorite was politicians. What, chimed the others? Why politicians? Because, he replied, when you open them up, they’re heartless, gutless, and spineless, and their head and asshole are interchangeable.
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In both of my cases, I had no choice. It was surgery or be put 6 feet under! I thank God that He has been with me all these times. Without Him, I never would have known what to do and might not have gone to the hospital when I did. I don't know if you have had your surgery or not yet but I hope you will hang out on this website when you are done. I have learned a great deal through the people here and it is so great having others who have had the same thing done and been through what you are about to or have gone through. The only thing I have turned down is a reversal of the ileostomy. When the doctors did the emergency rebuilding of my original ileostomy this last February, I told them I did not want to go through this again. My doctor told me at that time that I was no longer a candidate for the reversal. In a way, I was very relieved. The last three years of my life have been a nightmare for me. I do not want to go through any of it again. If you wish to be rehooked up and they say you are a good choice for that, research it carefully. Every surgery I have ever had except for Old and New Maxine and the emergency surgery on my broken foot, I have spent weeks researching. I recently had my C5 C6 disk in my neck replaced with an artificial one. I went to my pre-op with 2 pages of questions for the doctor. I knew everything that they were going to do and could talk intelligently with them. I always try to research my adversaries! Don't cancel your surgery. It is nice not to have to suffer any longer with horrible pain. We all had to change a few things around when we had our surgeries but in the long run, most of us are glad we did it. I know I am. Good luck to you!
Good chuckle, Henry! I'm going to go completely off topic here, because your joke reminded me of something a friend told me a few years ago. I know from previous posts that although you may not hold surgeons in particularly high esteem, lawyers are even lower on your list of professions. This is a true story, by the way. My friend, who is a criminal lawyer, recounted a chance meeting he had with a colleague a few years ago. He was staying at a fancy resort on one of our southern B.C. Gulf Islands when he ran into his former business partner, who was also a criminal lawyer. This guy had left the partnership to open his own firm and he specialized in defending high-level drug dealers and gang members. He had his yacht anchored in the harbor and it was called, what else, "Crime Pays".
Terry
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Gee, small world! I practiced criminal defense for four years. My partner had a big speed boat, the kind favored by drug runners. He called his boat... Crime Pays.
How to Adjust to Life with an Ostomy with Bruce | Hollister
